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mary rosenblum
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Hello, all!
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mary rosenblum
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I hope you had a good week.
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mary rosenblum
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Welcome to our Friday After
Hours.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and we're talking about 'tinting'
prose with character. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short
stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new
here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the
'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in
order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can
use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works
better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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I wanted to return to
character and exposition one more time...
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mary rosenblum
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because this is one of the
biggest differences between work that does not sell and work that does
sell.
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mary rosenblum
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It applies to both fiction and
personal narrative nonfiction...what is often called 'creative nonfiction'.
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wingedwarrior24
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can you defien exposition?
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mary rosenblum
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Sure winged. Exposition is
everything that is not dialogue.
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mary rosenblum
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In other words it is all the
description...of objects, action, what have you.
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mary rosenblum
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You can have 'narrative
exposition'...
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mary rosenblum
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essentially what you get in
either a first person point of view piece...
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mary rosenblum
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or a narrative piece...
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mary rosenblum
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or you can have non-narrative
exposition, when our aim is to make the reader...
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mary rosenblum
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feel as if he/she is seeing
the scene rather than listening to someone tell about it.
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mary rosenblum
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And this is the most pevasive
and long lasting weakness for novice writers.
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mary rosenblum
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It is the primary tool of
characterization.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and we're talking about 'tinting'
prose with character. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short
stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new
here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the
'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in
order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can
use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works
better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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We talk in narrative of
course.
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mary rosenblum
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When you tell your friend what
you did last weekend, you TELL that friend what you did last weekend.
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mary rosenblum
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That is narrative.
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mary rosenblum
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When we begin to write, we
write the way we talk...
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mary rosenblum
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so we tell the reader what is
going on as we visualize the scene.
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seigfried007
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How do you make a story
interesting about a character who doesn't allow himself to be excited?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, seigfried, if our
character doesn't get excited, I'd sure make the reader get excited.
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mary rosenblum
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Look at Sherlock Holmes...he
is never excited...
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mary rosenblum
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never out of control...
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mary rosenblum
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but WE are always glued to the
page waiting to see what happens next, what he reveals next.
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mary rosenblum
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Excited characters aren't
necessary to excite the reader.
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mary rosenblum
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We may want to see how he
handles the next situation.
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mary rosenblum
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Most of the hardboiled PI
books...think Raymond Chandler...are written like this...
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mary rosenblum
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the MC is tough, can take
anything...
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mary rosenblum
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and the suspense and
excitement comes from seeing how he *doens't* get excited about the next
event.
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mary rosenblum
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Of course if you have a
character doing bookkeeping at his desk all day...you're going to bore your
readers to tears!
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mary rosenblum
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It IS your job to find
something that excites YOU and therefore US about that person and his/her
story.
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speckledorf
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How do you comnect the action
and dialogue without your story sounding like a list of "he did this,
then did that, then said such and such" without all the narrative
description?
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mary rosenblum
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Use action tags.
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mary rosenblum
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Action tags are one of the
best ways to tint that non-narrative exposition with your character's
personality.
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mary rosenblum
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And learning to use action
tags will make major improvement in your dialogue.
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monda
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Please tell me more about the
most pervasive and long lasting weakness of novice writers
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mary rosenblum
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This is a good example of it,
monda. The biggest weakness in novice writers is a lack of
characterization...
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mary rosenblum
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and it comes from using exposition
that is 'tinted' with the author's character, not the MC's.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's look at dialogue and
action for a moment.
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mary rosenblum
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Leave the 'said' tag lines
off. Those are the George said, George blustered, George announced tags
that ...
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mary rosenblum
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identify the speaker.
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mary rosenblum
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Instead you simply show us
George in action after he speaks.
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mary rosenblum
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And remember, you do not need
a tag line after EVERY line of dialogue...
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mary rosenblum
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just often enough that we
don't lose track of the speaker.
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mary rosenblum
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"Be right there."
George dashed into the house. Where the heck were the bloody keys? He
yanked the kitchen drawer open. "Don't you dare leave without
me!" Slammed the drawer. The bread box?
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mary rosenblum
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Sometimes Linda left them
there. Bread. Slammed it closed.
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mary rosenblum
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Notice that I have given
George more thought here than actual action.
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mary rosenblum
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I could have said. George
dashed into the house and looked around for the missing keys.
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mary rosenblum
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He yanked the kitchen drawer
open but they weren't there. Then he tried the bread box because...
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mary rosenblum
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sometimes Linda left them
there. "Don't you dare leave without me," he yelled.
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mary rosenblum
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Compare the two. Which one
'shows' us more of George?
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mary rosenblum
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his actions are mostly
implied...
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mary rosenblum
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we dn't see him open the
breadbox. We 'overhear' his thought; bread! and we 'see' him slam it
closed, so we'll imagine him opening it..
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mary rosenblum
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And his slamming and 'bloody'
tell us he is in a bad tempered rush.
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mary rosenblum
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I have 'tinted' that scene
with George's state of mind and I did NOT have to say...George was in a
hurry and irritable because he was late.
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gail
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Re: Your example of George.
You've used limited third POV. Is that same "thought" exposition
available when writing in omnicient 3rd?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, you can do it, but it's
going to intensify the 'jolts' as the reader bounces from POV to POV. This
is why I rarely recommend omniscient POV as suitable.
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mary rosenblum
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It works well when you do not
want your reader to care about any of your characters...say the story is
strongly plot driven...
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mary rosenblum
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perhaps a 'comeuppance' story
where the unlikeable MC gets his just desserts in the end.
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mary rosenblum
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In that case, omniscient POV
allows us to stay well distanced from the POV character.
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mary rosenblum
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Of course in a novel, when you
switch POVs, hopefully at the chapter breaks, you will 'tint' the
exposition with the characer of the POV for that chapter.
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wingedwarrior24
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let me side step for a sec. Is a
story of kidnap and rape unsuitable for assignments?
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mary rosenblum
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That entirely depends on your
instructor, winged. It's not against any rules...
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mary rosenblum
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I just got an assignment
dealing graphically with incest...
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mary rosenblum
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and I have some erotica
students...but you might disturb some instructors. I don't know.
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mary rosenblum
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Ask you instructor.
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gail
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So, back to George, if he is our
limited 3rd POV, and we are "looking" at someone else's
character, then we must "see" those actions through George's eyes
and perceptions?
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mary rosenblum
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Bingo, gail.
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mary rosenblum
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And THAT is what tends to
distinguish really strong and saleable fiction and narrative from weaker
stuff that doesn't sell.
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mary rosenblum
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It is not the idea or the
plot, it is how well the character is conveyed, and that happens through
the exposition in limited third, and the narrative voice in first person.
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mary rosenblum
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That is how you get to know
people in the real world...
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mary rosenblum
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you observe their actions, but
you mostly listen to them talk...
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mary rosenblum
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and the way they talk tells
you about their thoughts, prejudices, background...who they are as people.
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mary rosenblum
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And the exposition serves that
purpose in limited third.
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mary rosenblum
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It offers dozens of clues
about this person's thought and feelings.
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mary rosenblum
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As well as their emotional
state.
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seigfried007
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how do you 'tint' a story with a
charcter like that? If a character wouldn't use the flowering or exciting
language?
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mary rosenblum
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With your 'unexciting'
character, seigfried?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, it's not the flowery
language that will 'color' that scene...
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mary rosenblum
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it is how the character thinks
of what he sees.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's look at kids playing in
the park.
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mary rosenblum
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Character A looks: A bunch of
yuppie brats were climbing all over the fancy equipment in their hundred
dollar shoes and fancy play clothes.
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mary rosenblum
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Character B sees the same
scene: A half dozen children were playing on the swingset, sweet as could
be.
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mary rosenblum
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Character C: The park was full
of kids this time of day. I took the long way around the school.
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mary rosenblum
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But you'd simply combine these
thoughts with action:
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mary rosenblum
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The park was full of kids this
time of day. Maurice took the long way home.
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mary rosenblum
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We have learned something
about each of those characters from that characater's word choices when
observing the kids.
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mary rosenblum
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That is what exposition does...it
reveals HOW your character feels and thinks about things.
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ashton
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Ideally, you want your
protagonist and antagonist to have different personalities, but what if
both have the same withdrawn and standoffish personality...can you make
that work too?
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mary rosenblum
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Sure ashton. Withdrawn and
standoffish are very external and general descriptions.
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mary rosenblum
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One can be a serial killer and
one can be a quiet saint and the description could apply to both.
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roe
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Even with action tags we are
saying he/she did such and such Is there a way to get around using he/she
or their names so often
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mary rosenblum
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Not in third person, roe. The
pronoun vanishes if your prose is compelling...you're doing good show,
don't tell, just as the I vanishes in strong first person.
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mary rosenblum
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readers stop noticing it.
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wingedwarrior24
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you are my instructor, any
objections
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mary rosenblum
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LOL, I had a feeling you were
one of mine. None whatsoever. If I think violence is
extraneous..unnecessary, I'll let you know.
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seigfried007
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he's not an uninteresting
character, just desensitized to a normally emotionally-provoking way of
life. he looks at everything as a statement of fact: there were bodies on
the ground. it's raining. he tries very hard not to have an opinion
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mary rosenblum
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you know, seigfried, he might
not be your best choice of POV.
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mary rosenblum
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I have more than once decided
that my main character made a lousy point of view character and used
someone else as POV.
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mary rosenblum
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Your MC does NOT have to be
the POV in a limited third story.
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arfelin
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Is tinting the scene with MC's
thoughts how we get our readers to emotionally connect with the character?
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mary rosenblum
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Exactly, arfelin!
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mary rosenblum
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YOU know your character well,
but we are NOT a telepathic species.
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mary rosenblum
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So you have to find a way to
convey a complex human personality to your readers...
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mary rosenblum
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and simple speech and action
is not really enough to do it deeply...
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mary rosenblum
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superficially yes.
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mary rosenblum
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But the more three dimensional
your character is, the more real he/she will be, and the more your reader
will identify with him/her.
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wingedwarrior24
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do you stick with the same pov
until after a new chapter or story break?
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, unless you are doing
omniscient and skipping around, but that distances the reader from
everybody...as I said, unless you WANT that distance it's a bad choice of
POV.
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seigfried007
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so 3rd limited is a hybrid of
'telling' and stream-of-consciousness?
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mary rosenblum
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Third limited is simply the
perceptions of that POV character. YOU the author stay out of it!
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ashton
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thoughts combined with action,
right?
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mary rosenblum
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That is one way to do it and I
find it allows you to develop a very strong character in a short story...
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mary rosenblum
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those bits of thought, such as
I gave George in my example...help the reader get a sense of personality.
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mary rosenblum
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I do NOT mean long paragraphs
of internal monologue...just glimpses. 'Where are those bloody keys?'...
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mary rosenblum
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that sort of thing.
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speckledorf
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So a character equals thought,
action and dialogue...
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mary rosenblum
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And awareness...speck...what
he/she sees around him/her.
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mary rosenblum
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Peter crossed two yards,
watching for dogs.
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mary rosenblum
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Peter could care less about
landscape, all he is worried about is getting bitten.
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mary rosenblum
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Robert crossed two yards,
admiring the neat Asian inspired landscaping in the second.
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mary rosenblum
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Robert is a gardener.
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mary rosenblum
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And he's not afraid of dogs.
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wolf122
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Is it better to get the full 3-D
image of a character through subtle clues in the character's speech or in
their actions?
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mary rosenblum
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YOu need to combine that with
your 'tinted' exposition, wolf.
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mary rosenblum
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Actions and speech show
character, too, but the more you convey character to the reader...
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mary rosenblum
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the stronger your character
will be. So use all tools at your disposal.
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info
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by stating 'bloody keys', aren't
you also giving the reader an idea that maybe George is English as well?
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mary rosenblum
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That, too info. :-) Good
notice.
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patchworkcat
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Mary, I confess that all the
different POV's available to a writer confuse me. I understand First POV
and I think I get Third, but could you explain simply the rest?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, second is 'you' and
rarely very useful outside of 'choose your own adventure' books.
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mary rosenblum
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As to third, limited third is
the one where the reader is seated in the POV character's head and sees
only what that character sees...
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mary rosenblum
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and knows only what that
character knows or thinks about.
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mary rosenblum
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Omnicient third is when we
skip from POV to POV...distances the reader from ALL the characters...
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mary rosenblum
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Cinematic is when you simply
describe the scene as if you were a camera...no thought, narrative, what
have you.
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mary rosenblum
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and Narrative Third is when
the author tells the story.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and we're talking about 'tinting'
prose with character. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short
stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new
here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the
'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in
order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can
use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works
better for you..
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pjwriter2
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I seem to do a lot of 1st person
pov does that weaken my sto
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pjwriter2
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stories?
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mary rosenblum
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Not if your characters have
strong voices, pj.
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mary rosenblum
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If your characters all talk
like you, that's probably going to weaken your story, unless your
characters are all LIKE you.
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mary rosenblum
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But if each one has his or her
own voice...own use of idiom, rhythms of speech, choice of words,
vocabulary..
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mary rosenblum
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then not a problem.
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mary rosenblum
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Each writer has a preferred
voice...mine happens to be third...
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mary rosenblum
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but occasionally a story
simply works better in first, and then I use first.
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lordjaw
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what is a "graphic
novel"? will it replace tradional fict?
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mary rosenblum
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Graphic novel is a
sophisticated comic, lordjaw. It's a story, unlike the serial comic, but it
is told in pictures and dialogue. doubt it will replace traditional
fiction...
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mary rosenblum
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but it has gained some
increasing respect.
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t green
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Mary, is it still omnicient
third if you choose only a few characters to tell your story from? say two
or three POV's. a lot of fantasy stories do that
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mary rosenblum
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Well, t, in novel form, it is
common to use more than one POV character. You have room to develop more than
one character richly.
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mary rosenblum
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But their still limited third
if you are in the head of say two or three main characters...
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mary rosenblum
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omnicient...used in some
literary novels...sends you skipping from head to head within every scene.
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wingedwarrior24
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in short stories is it better to
only have one pov
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mary rosenblum
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Depends on what you are doing,
winged. If you want readers to identify with your main character...
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mary rosenblum
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if you want that character to
be three dimensional, then yes, stick with that single POV.
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mary rosenblum
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If the plot matters, if we
don't have to care about the characters, if it's say, the surprise ending
that is the reader payoff..
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mary rosenblum
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then you can do more than one
and it can work.
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mewf
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What, or how is it considered
when the author tells the story from his/hr POV and the characters talk or
interact with each other throughout the story?
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mary rosenblum
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That's narrative third, mewf...the
author may intrude and comment on what is going on...
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mary rosenblum
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It's very much like a first
person story, only in this case the 'first person' voice is the author..
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mary rosenblum
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rather than a character in the
scenes.
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gail
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Mary, I also noticed, in your
George example, that you've used some sentence fragments. I've been told
this is "okay, but should not be overdone." Did you choose to use
it in this particular example to add to the pacing? And, do you agree with what
I was told about sentence fragments?
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gail
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I prefer sentence fragments when
"tinting" a character -- who THINKS in complete sentences??? I
sure don't... :-]
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mary rosenblum
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Exactly and that is why you
saw so many fragments...they represented thought and we do NOT think in
dialogue!!!!!
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mary rosenblum
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BUT...as far as exposition
that is NOT thought, a fragment here or there can add a sense of urgency or
action to a scene...
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mary rosenblum
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but very many and they begin
to make the reader feel as if he/she is begin pelted with rock!
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mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and we're talking about 'tinting'
prose with character. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short
stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new
here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the
'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in
order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can
use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works
better for you..
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mary rosenblum
|
A lot of general statements do
not apply to thought or dialogue...
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mary rosenblum
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grammar for example!
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mary rosenblum
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Who for heaven's sake talks in
grammatically perfect sentences?
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mary rosenblum
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Mostly, 'tinting' is a matter
of word choice.
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mary rosenblum
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As you write the scene, get in
the habit of asking yourself...'is this how my characater would think of
this?'
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mary rosenblum
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And it limits you.
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mary rosenblum
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You may WANT to describe the
garden in flowery (pun intended!) detail...
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mary rosenblum
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but if your POV is not a
gardener, sorry, you cannot talk about those frilly dicentras!
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gail
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Mary, don't laugh, but my
parent's were very strict about what we said and how it was said...I still
can't stop myself from speaking as "clearly and succinctly as possible!"
lol
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mary rosenblum
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Well, there ARE people like
that, but you need to make it clear to the reader that you are doing it
intentionally if you do something like that...
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mary rosenblum
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so that the reader doesn't
think it's just bad writing.
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mary rosenblum
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For example...
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mary rosenblum
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if your ten year old POV talks
as if she has a college education...
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mary rosenblum
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you would be well advised to
let a classmate laugh at her for her 'fancy words'...
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mary rosenblum
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so we know she really DOES
talk like that.
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mary rosenblum
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actually, in To Kill a
Mockingbird...
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mary rosenblum
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Scout, the very young narrator
who talks as if she has a college education...
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mary rosenblum
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goes on a length about how the
teacher in first grade was SHOCKED by her language..
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mary rosenblum
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and mad that Atticus taught
her to read from the New York Times...
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mary rosenblum
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So we accept her vocabulary.
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mary rosenblum
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WAtch out for 'tinting' most
when you are describing the scene or action.
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mary rosenblum
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That is when you really need
to look at what you wrote.
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mary rosenblum
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Would my character think of it
this way?
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mary rosenblum
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Would my character care about
this detail?
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mary rosenblum
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By making sure that you always
can answer 'yes'...
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mary rosenblum
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you will be subtly and
constantly building the characterization of your POV..
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mary rosenblum
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and this is just as true for
first person.
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mary rosenblum
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if your first person POV is
not a gardener, she sure won't describe those flowers by name...
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mary rosenblum
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nor will she mention that it's
an English cottage garden.
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mary rosenblum
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hi rdwrtr...
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mary rosenblum
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I saw your question.
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mary rosenblum
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Tinting is when you use words
that reflect your POV character's thoughts, feelings, prejudices...
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mary rosenblum
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to increase characterization
with exposition.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and we're talking about 'tinting'
prose with character. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short
stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new
here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the
'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in
order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can
use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works
better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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Most of the time, novice
writers simply 'write' exposition.
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mary rosenblum
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You don't think about it, you
simply describe what YOU see in the scene.
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mary rosenblum
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And often, novice writers use
lyrical and lovely prose to do it, and it's a LOVELY description.
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mary rosenblum
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But if that is not how the
character would perceive that scene...
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mary rosenblum
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it weakens your
characterization and makes the author's presense known.
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mary rosenblum
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And that continuity between
character and exposition is what will take you from slush to sale if you
can tell a story...
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mary rosenblum
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or write about an interesting
real life event.
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mary rosenblum
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No kidding.
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madhatter
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is it okay to use slang in
dialogue to help charaterization?
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mary rosenblum
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Of course.
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mary rosenblum
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Your character must talk like
your character really talks...whether that is politically correct,
grammatically correct, or what have you.
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mary rosenblum
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One thing to keep in mind
here.
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mary rosenblum
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Don't worry about ANY of this
as you write your first draft.
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mary rosenblum
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You'll drive yourself nuts.
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mary rosenblum
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Just write the first draft,
capture the flow of the story or the personal narrative...
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mary rosenblum
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get it all down and done.
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mary rosenblum
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THEN...go back over it again,
slowly, scene by scene...
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mary rosenblum
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and THEN ask yourself...'is
this what my character would notice? Is this how she'd perceive this?'
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mary rosenblum
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The second draft is when you
need to worry about these details, not the first.
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ashton
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Is it true that readers will get
bugged if you use some dialects verses just out right writing the
characters dialogue normally and adding that he or she spoke it in a
souther twange or an irish one, ect.?
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mary rosenblum
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It is. Ever read Jacques
Redwall series? The moles with their phonetically spelled Cockney drive
everyone up a wall.
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mary rosenblum
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Takes me five minutes to
deciper half a page of dialogue!
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mary rosenblum
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Scott Card had a suggestion
that has worked for me...
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mary rosenblum
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use the dialect and spell it
phonetically for a very short space...a couple of paragraphs in a short
story...
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mary rosenblum
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a scene in a novel...
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mary rosenblum
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and then retain the rhythm and
constuction of the dialect, but minimize the phonetic spellings...
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mary rosenblum
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and your reader will continue
to 'hear' that dialect.
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lordjaw
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can too much slang drive a
reader nuts? use it sparingly?
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mary rosenblum
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Too much of anything can 'not
work', lord.
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mary rosenblum
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Use what feels right to you,
and then see if a couple of readers complain.
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mary rosenblum
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When they've finished reading,
if they don't comment on the slang, ask 'em if it bothered 'em.
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wingedwarrior24
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can you use slang in
description?
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mary rosenblum
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Use it as character thought,
winged.
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mary rosenblum
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As with George:
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mary rosenblum
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Where are the bloody keys? He
yanked the door open.
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mary rosenblum
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That 'bloody' is George's
description of the keys.
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rdwrtr
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writing reflections of a true
event although veering from a name and actual location can still make a
writer responsible if a third party assumes the story reflects to them?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, responsible, yes,
legally liable, not unless that person can prove personal harm, rdwrtr.
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mary rosenblum
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If you write about a man who
looks just like your neighbor and lives in a house just like the one he
lives in...
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mary rosenblum
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and in your book he is a child
molester...
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mary rosenblum
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he has to prove that you
caused him harm with that description...
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mary rosenblum
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that he lost his job, was
kicked out of his church, that sort of thing.
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mary rosenblum
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BUT is it an ethical thing to
do? Not in my mind...unless it's true, of course. :-)
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marty
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Mary can you have to much dialog
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mary rosenblum
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You sure can, marty.
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mary rosenblum
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It's called a 'talking heads'
scene.
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mary rosenblum
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Nothing happens. The
characters yammer on and on and eventually we all fall asleep!
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mary rosenblum
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It's a good idea to break up
dialogue with brief bits of action.
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wingedwarrior24
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if you combine him/her with
another character can they prove that it was him/her?
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mary rosenblum
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I don't know, winged. Would
depend on the situation I suppose and how obvious it was that this was a
particular person.
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mary rosenblum
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You're asking a question a
lawyer would have to answer, but why would you want to use a real person
anyway?
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mary rosenblum
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make up a character.
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gail
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Can eavesdropping be an
effective way to have the limited 3rd POV see and/or hear things when he is
not actually "present" with the other characters?
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mary rosenblum
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absolutely.
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mary rosenblum
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Another way to get around that
'he wasn't present' problem, is to have another character tell that POV
what went on...
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mary rosenblum
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or let him find out by
overhearing conversation, noticing someone's reaction when he makes a
comment...
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mary rosenblum
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there is ALWAYS a way to let
the reader and your POV find out what you need to have them find out.
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mary rosenblum
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Nobody said writing wasn't
work at times! :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Be creative.
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madhatter
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is there a rule for balancing
dialogue and action?
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mary rosenblum
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There is no hard and fast
rule, mad...
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mary rosenblum
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depends on the pacing of the
scene, what is going on.
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mary rosenblum
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You change the ration of
dialogue to visuals to change the pace of a scene.
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mary rosenblum
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Dialogue mixed with lots of
visuals (action or expostion) creates a fairly leisurely pace...
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mary rosenblum
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dialogue with no visuals
creates a very tight pace...
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mary rosenblum
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and that quickly gets monotonous
so it's a good idea to bring a dialogue scene to a peak of 'stripped
dialogue'...
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mary rosenblum
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exchanges of lines with no
visuals, and then to begin to add more visuals to bring the tension down
from that peak.
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lordjaw
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should/could the actual thoughts
of a char be Italicized?
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mary rosenblum
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I don't like it that way,
lord, Italic sounds like a shout to the reader.
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mary rosenblum
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BUT...some publishers insist
on it...
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mary rosenblum
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One way around that is 'paraphrase'
thought.
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mary rosenblum
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I did that with George's
example, and do that with most character thought...
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mary rosenblum
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because we do not think in
dialogue...
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mary rosenblum
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and if you write thought as
dialogue it sounds phony.
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mary rosenblum
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George barged into the room.
Where were the bloody keys? He yanked the drawer open. Not there. Maybe in
the breadbox, Linda put 'em there sometimes. Bread. He slammed it shut.
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mary rosenblum
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OK...
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mary rosenblum
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Here, George's direct (ie
actual) thoughts are: Not there. and Bread.
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mary rosenblum
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That's it.
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mary rosenblum
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Now I paraphrased the rest of
his thoughts...that is, I left them in past tense: where were the bloody
keys? and Maybe in the breadbox, Linda put 'em in there sometimes.
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mary rosenblum
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If I wanted to use those as
direct thought...as if I was 'quoting' his thoughts, they would read:
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mary rosenblum
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Were are the bloody keys,
George thought. Maybe in the breadbox? Linda puts them there sometimes.
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ashton
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Curious...has anyone ever tried
to write nothing but dialogue and actually make it to a sale?
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, probably, but it probably
sold to the literary market.
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mary rosenblum
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ANYTHING can work.
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mary rosenblum
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But not everything WILL work.
:-)
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lordjaw
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what if a character is quoting
in their mind what was said?
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mary rosenblum
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I'm not sure exactly what you
mean by that, lord.
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gail
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The screenplay, Dinner with was
all dialogue, wasn't it?
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mary rosenblum
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Screenplays ARE all dialogue!
Plus some stage directions. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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It's harder than it seems to
learn to tint that exposition...
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mary rosenblum
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but it's worth striving for,
because it WILL make the difference in the slush pile.
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gail
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Well, yes. But, there are
actions scenes in most of the "visual arts." This screenplay was
set in a restaurant, with only two characters, and nothing BUT NOTHING,
except their conversation. It was interesting...wish I could remember that
name...???
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mary rosenblum
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OH, I see what you mean.
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mary rosenblum
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But that's not an 'all
dialogue' scene gail.
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mary rosenblum
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The actors are adding the
visual action..their expressions and body language..
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mary rosenblum
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will convey a lot to the
audience, along with tone of voice.
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mary rosenblum
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If you write that same scene
in prose, you would include their actions...body language...
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mary rosenblum
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their facial expressions and
tone of voice.
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mary rosenblum
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That would all be exposition,
rather that plain dialogue.
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lordjaw
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char remembers what someone said
and repeats it in thought.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, gotcha Lord!
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mary rosenblum
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I use italic for that.
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mary rosenblum
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George remembered what Cathy
had said yesterday. I WON"T GO.
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mary rosenblum
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Only I can't DO italic here...
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mary rosenblum
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so I capitalized it, but
pretend it's italic!
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mary rosenblum
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You only use "" to
indicate SPOKEN dialogue, but italic will show the reader that this is his
memory of her actual words...a quote.
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mary rosenblum
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And do remember that you
underline in ms format to indicate italic...
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mary rosenblum
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unless the guidelines for that
publication specifically tell you to use italic.
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gail
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Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yes, there is body language and setting that play roles and add substance
to the play.
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mary rosenblum
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Yep, and you'd do that in the
prose version with exposition.
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roe
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Do you use italics if someone is
reading a note from someone or letter
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mary rosenblum
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I do, roe.
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mary rosenblum
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I use italic for anything that
is NOT spoken dialogue but still some form of speech..
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mary rosenblum
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and as a SF writer, I use
italic to indicate non-human speech...
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mary rosenblum
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say a computer generated
voice.
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mary rosenblum
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I use it to indicate
telepathic speech, and I have used it to indicate sign language.
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mary rosenblum
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*Drink of water?* the boy
signed.
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mary rosenblum
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where the ** indicate the
italicized words.
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ashton
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It's a wonder anyone makes it to
publication with all there is to remember that makes a good book. Will
I ever get there? Who knows. But I'll push for that level of greatness
until I die. (smile) I applaud you, Mary, for all your sales.
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mary rosenblum
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But ashton, you learn this
stuff and you keep reviewing it, but as you keep writing, you begin to DO
it.
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mary rosenblum
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I don't THINK of any of this
stuff much anymore...
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mary rosenblum
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I just WRITE...
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mary rosenblum
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and I still pay attention to
details as I revise (would he really thing this right now? Would she notice
that? )..
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jmr
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I've seen italics used in a
conversation when the Italicised voice was on the other end of the phone...
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mary rosenblum
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yes, that works well, too.
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pjwriter2
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I have my alien useing telepathic
speech but she learns to speak the way humans do only more like a baby or
child do I use Italics for that also?
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mary rosenblum
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I suggest you use italic for
the telepathic speech, and of course, her spoken words will be enclosed in
""
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gail
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Do you use a particular
"style" reference book/s, and if so, which one/s?
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mary rosenblum
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No, I don't gail.
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mary rosenblum
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I have learned my craft by
doing two things...
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mary rosenblum
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analyzing work that blew me
away to try and figure out HOW that writer blew me away. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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and 2: Trying to help other
writers make their work stronger ie critiquing.
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mary rosenblum
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WEll this has been a fun
Oregon Hour plus!
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mary rosenblum
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I'll post the transcript in
the usual place..writing craft: forum transcritps.
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mary rosenblum
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And do drop in here...
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mary rosenblum
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on Sunday...same time same
place...for our casual chat.
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mary rosenblum
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They're a lot of fun...we talk
about whatever.
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mary rosenblum
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See you all Sunday!
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mary rosenblum
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I'm going to go back to
pulling nettles now. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Have a good weekend!
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mary rosenblum
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Good night!
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