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Mary Roseblum
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Hello all. Welcome to our
Friday After Hours Forum.
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Mary Roseblum
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I hope you've all had a good
week, and those of you working on a book, I hope you were able to join my
chat with Debbie Cross and Paul Wrigley of Wrigley-Cross Books last night.
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Mary Roseblum
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They had a lot to say about
the realities of getting your small press or self published book onto a
bookstore shelf.
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Mary Roseblum
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Very practical advice.
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Mary Roseblum
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If you missed it, do read the
transcript.
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Mary Roseblum
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It's available in 'Surviving
and Thriving; Interview Transcripts' on the website.
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Mary Roseblum
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I wanted to talk a bit about
pacing tonight because I see pacing problems all the time in novice manuscripts.
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Mary Roseblum
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It's not something that most
'how to write' books address well.
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Mary Roseblum
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I think the reason is that
it's not a simple fix.
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Mary Roseblum
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It's not a matter of do this,
not that, and everything will be fine.
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Mary Roseblum
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You control your pacing in
several ways.
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Mary Roseblum
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Pacing is simply the perceived
speed of the story. It may move forward at a leisurely pace or you may
create a sense of breathless speed
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Mary Roseblum
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as your character races to
complete something before a looming deadline.
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Mary Roseblum
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And overall, it creates rhythm
of speed up/slow down that adds to the esthetic of the story.
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Mary Roseblum
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A lack of change of pace
creates a monotony that affects the story over all -- whether that pace is
fast or slow.
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Mary Roseblum
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You use pace to underline the
dramatic arc, speeding up as you approach the climax of a scene or a
chapter or the story overall.
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Mary Roseblum
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You slow that pace as the
dramatic tension relaxes.
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Mary Roseblum
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Generally, you create pace
using three factors: Word choice. Word numbers. Word length.
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Mary Roseblum
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Lots of words equals a slower
pace. Fewer words speeds things up.
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Mary Roseblum
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Anne walked across the
clearing, stopping at the mess tent for a mug of ale, then circled the
flickering cookfire to seat herself next to the hulking figure of Ben.
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Mary Roseblum
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Anne circled the cookfire to
sit down by Ben.
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Mary Roseblum
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Words are almost the same, but
many fewer. Faster pace.
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Mary Roseblum
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That's the easiest fix for a
slow pace. Get rid of words. No, we don't see nearly the same visuals, do
we?
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Mary Roseblum
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We see a lot more of that
clearing. Now if the scene is not strongly dramatic, then I'd use the
longer version and let the readers sightsee.
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Mary Roseblum
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The shorter version wouldn't
be appropriate since there's no reason to hurry.
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Mary Roseblum
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But if this scene is intended
to be a dramatic high point -- Anne is about to tell Ben that his brother
is dead -- then
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Mary Roseblum
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we take the short route to sit
down.
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Mary Roseblum
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The second pacing factor is
word choice.
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Mary Roseblum
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Use words that carry a nuance
of drama or hurry or danger to intensify the tension in the scene and hurry
the pace.
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Mary Roseblum
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Anne marched around the
campfire and sat down by Ben.
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Mary Roseblum
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Just my use of 'marched'
rather than 'circled' picks up the pace a bit. This is a determined stride,
not a leisurely stroll now.
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Mary Roseblum
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If Anne is about to drop a bombshell
on poor Ben you would not use 'Anne ambled around the campfire and seated
herself next to Ben'.
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Mary Roseblum
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That ambled and seated herself
suggests leisure. She would probably not be strolling around in a leisurely
fashion if she's carrying news that's going to devastate this guy.
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Mary Roseblum
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So the subtle nuance of the
words you do use will either pick up the pace or slow it down.
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Mary Roseblum
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Finally, think about the word
itself. Ann marched over and sat down by Ben.
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Mary Roseblum
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This is as short, tight, and
choppy as I can make it.
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Mary Roseblum
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It does not flow. It trots.
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Mary Roseblum
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That choppy hard word sound is
like a beating drum...it has the effect of fast as well as implying
emotional discord.
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Mary Roseblum
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Now if you did this all the
time, you'd create the effect of riding fast over a rough road in a wagon
with no springs. Ouch!
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Mary Roseblum
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But as you approach the climax
of a scene, you can use it for a bit to increase the sense of speed and/or
discord.
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mhill751
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Hi Mary, what is the best pacing
for a historical novel?
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Mary Roseblum
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There should never be 'one'
pace for any novel, mhill. That would get SO boring so fast.
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Mary Roseblum
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Think of a single note
sustained for two hours straight as opposed to music.
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Mary Roseblum
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Your pace in any novel should
rise and fall with the rise and fall of drama in the story .
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info
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Wouldn't you use the leisurely
thing if you wish to show her uncertainty in how to tell him bad news?
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Mary Roseblum
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No, info. Leisurely movements
imply leisure -- a relaxed state of mind. If I'm about to tell my best
friend that his brother is dead, I'm not going to be in a relaxed state of
mind.
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Mary Roseblum
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I may dither, I may find
reasons to delay telling him, but the tension will rise as I put off the
bad moment and the increasing pace drives the tension rise.
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Mary Roseblum
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Your character can be sitting
on that log, but she may start figeting, she pokes the fire, picks at a
tear in her shirt, gets her knife out to sharpen a stick, throws the stick
into the fire with a muttered exclamation and finally faces him.
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charie'
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Wouldn't jumpy sentences reflect
anxiety better?
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Mary Roseblum
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Those are the hard choppy
sounds.
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Mary Roseblum
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But you still want spare
language there.
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redwagon
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Any tips on pace when it comes
to shifting the POV? -I know that's a broad question.
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Mary Roseblum
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Well, hopefully your POV is
going to change at the scene breaks or chapter breaks so that you don't
utterly lose your readers.
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Mary Roseblum
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The pace is going to be tied
to the dramatic arc of each scene.
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charie'
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Should I tell him now? Maybe
Brian can tell him. They were all buds. No. Brian's a mess, too.
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Mary Roseblum
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Tell him now? Brian, she
thought. Nah. He was a mess, too.
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Mary Roseblum
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"Ben, listen." She
scrubbed her hands on her jeans. "I...gotta tell you something."
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Mary Roseblum
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Notice that I added more words
once she makes up her mind to do it now?
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Mary Roseblum
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The dramatic arc builds to her
decision, then slacks off a bit as she tells him.
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Mary Roseblum
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Now, depending on his reaction
we could build again to a new high point or not.
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Mary Roseblum
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Depends on how he reacts.
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Mary Roseblum
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Pace and tension in a scene
are intertwined. As pace picks up, dramatic tension usually increases.
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Mary Roseblum
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As pace slacks off, dramatic
tension usually slacks off.
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Mary Roseblum
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Not always!
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Mary Roseblum
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Sometimes you can very
effectively us the opposite and increase the tension as the pacing slows.
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charie'
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So the build up gets the fast,
choppy words and the climax gets the slower pace?
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Mary Roseblum
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Right after the climax,
usually. This is a mini-dramatic peak in my little example. :-)
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Mary Roseblum
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The climax is the moment she
makes the decision to tell him now.
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Mary Roseblum
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These are NOT things to worry
about in the first draft.
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Mary Roseblum
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I don't really worry about
them until about draft three.
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Mary Roseblum
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Draft four if I have major
structural changes to make.
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Mary Roseblum
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Once you have your plot down
(draft one) and you get your characterization solid (draft two)
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Mary Roseblum
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then start worrying about
words.
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Mary Roseblum
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But what I see a LOT is a very
nice action scene where that sense of action is nearly lost because so many
words obscure the visuals. :-)
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Mary Roseblum
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This is why you spend at least
one revision taking out all the 'flabby' words and rearranging words so
that you say the most possible with the fewest words.
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Mary Roseblum
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I'ts very important in nonfiction
where you don't have drama and plot to compel readers.
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Mary Roseblum
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They are interested in what
you have to say, but if you say it slowly and in a boring manner they're
out of there.
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Mary Roseblum
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And so is the editor.
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quixote
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Using sentences. Short.
Unfinished - is this useful?
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Mary Roseblum
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Yes, fragments can be very
good at conveying confusion or anger or high emotions. BUT...
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Mary Roseblum
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just as too much salt can ruin
a meal, so can too many fragments ruin your prose. I use them a lot to
create the effect of thought in internal narrative
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Mary Roseblum
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and I am always having to take
some out in revision so that I don't overdo it.
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Mary Roseblum
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Ann spun on her heel. No. Not
here. Not now. She bolted into a run.
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Mary Roseblum
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Of course if you want to so
that, you must have carefully set up your scene so that the readers know
what is going on without you needing to tell them.
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Mary Roseblum
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That is the other extreme in
pacing issues.
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Mary Roseblum
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I see those, too....where
things proceed at a breakneck pace without any slow spots. We are yanked
off our feet by the runaway action and generally don't have a clue what is
going on as we're dragged pell mell through the story.
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Mary Roseblum
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You just don't have time to
let readers figure things out if you're charging ahead like the Light
Brigade.
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Mary Roseblum
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So try to mix action scenes
that proceed briskly with slower, reflective scenes where characters can
talk or think and readers can scarf up information.
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Mary Roseblum
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Your story should read like a
musical score, remember, with ups and downs, fast credenzas, and slow
addagios.
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Mary Roseblum
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Even if nothing really
dramatic happens, you can give the scene a sense of a dramatic peak through
your pacing.
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Mary Roseblum
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That won't save you if your
characters are only watching paint dry, but if anything happens at all, you
can make it seem more dramatic with a pace increase.
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Mary Roseblum
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So a small dramatic element
has more impact.
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charie'
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Can you pace the
"mood"? Like in a horror story with a twist of humor to put the
reader off guard for the next fright?
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Mary Roseblum
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Yes, you certainly can,
Charie. That's where you choice of words comes in.
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Mary Roseblum
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You use dark brooding words to
darken the mood, create a mood of impending danger or evil
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Mary Roseblum
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or you can throw in the light
moment only to hit the reader between the eyes as the boogeyman leaps from
the closet.
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Mary Roseblum
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YOu don't use all three
elements equally.
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Mary Roseblum
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Sometimes, as in a horror story,
you'll use word choices and say, choppy, hard words to increase the pace
and sense of impending danger.
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Mary Roseblum
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In a strong action story, you
might use numbers of words mostly to create a fast or slow pace.
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Mary Roseblum
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Internal narrative slows down
the pace a LOT.
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Mary Roseblum
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Remember that while it is a
crucial tool in terms of character revelation it comes with a price tag --
a slower pace.
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Mary Roseblum
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So use it sparingly and for
heaven's sake do NOT have your heroine thinking deeply about her
relationship with her father as she fights off three swordsmen!
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Mary Roseblum
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This is why pace is complex.
:-) No one thing creates pace.
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Mary Roseblum
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The more you write, the more
you will develope a sense of 'feel' for it.
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Mary Roseblum
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When I first started out, I
depended a lot on reader feedback to tell me whether a scene was too fast
or too slow.
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Mary Roseblum
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Now I can feel the pace even
on a first draft.
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geezer
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On the other hand, Dean Koontz
seems to be able to have the reader biting there nails while he digresses
with humorous back story.
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Mary Roseblum
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That's because he does a very
nice job of creating suspense and his readers are all 'trained'. :-) They
know hes going to leap out from his hiding place and GET YOU sooner or later.
:-)
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mhill751
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I loved Koontz' Intensity
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Mary Roseblum
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He's a good writer. He does
what he does well.
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Mary Roseblum
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The main thing to focus on at
the start is simply 'number of words'.
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Mary Roseblum
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If your scene is supposed to
by hurrying buy or if you're rising to a dramatic peak, trim out all the
extra words that you can.
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Mary Roseblum
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Rearrange those sentences to
avoid passive voice. Get rid of 'there was' or 'there is'
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Mary Roseblum
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Look at each sentence and ask yourself
: can I say this a different way, with fewer words?
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Mary Roseblum
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Use vivid verbs and avoid was
plus the ing form of the verb. Exorcise 'would' from your vocabulary.
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mhill751
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so, we should not use passive
voice ever?
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Mary Roseblum
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Not unless you have a reason
to do so, mhill.
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Mary Roseblum
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Your character might consider
himself to be quite the intellectual and he speaks in an affected
passive-voice manner
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Mary Roseblum
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But for exposition -- avoid
it.
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Mary Roseblum
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It's simply a weak
construction.
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Mary Roseblum
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Remember ; writing is beset
with VERY few 'alwasy' and 'never'.
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Mary Roseblum
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As a general rule, avoid
passive voice. When you have reason to use it, use it.
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charie'
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Are there any good references
for word choice? A thesaurus of positive/negative/neutral conotations?
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Mary Roseblum
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Beware of the thesaurus. I see
words misused all the time because someone looked them up and they were
listed as a synonym but they're not utterly equal.
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Mary Roseblum
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So they sound a bit silly if
you DO know the actual nuance.
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Mary Roseblum
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The best way to learn new
words is to simply read a lot.
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Mary Roseblum
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Then you get them in context.
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Mary Roseblum
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It also depends on what you
read in terms of vocabulary level.
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Mary Roseblum
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Challenge yourself. :-) You
can find some very good reading lists on the net that will expand your
reading horizons. :-)
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geezer
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What is the best vocabulary
level to strive for in a novel?
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Mary Roseblum
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One that suits the story
you're trying to write and the readers you're trying to reach.
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Mary Roseblum
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You really should know who
you're writing for, even if you don't have a particular publisher in mind
yet.
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Mary Roseblum
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Certainly if I"m writing
a YA piece, I don't use the same style as I use writing adult SF.
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Mary Roseblum
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And I use a slightly different
style if I'm writing a cozy mystery as opposed to a harder mystery or SF.
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Mary Roseblum
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And I use a different style
yet when I write literary mainstream.
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charie'
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Can you change your word choice
on a later draft?
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Mary Roseblum
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Of course. You can change
anything you want any time. :-)
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Mary Roseblum
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So in general, reduce the
number of words in order to pick up the pace. Add visuals or internal
narrative to slow it down.
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Mary Roseblum
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Sometimes you need to do that.
I had a student writing some nice fantasy, but it was nonstop breakneck
action.
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Mary Roseblum
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As soon as he started adding
more relaxed scenes he went from comic-book to publishable fantasy.
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Mary Roseblum
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Now he could let his
characters develop and the story blossomed.
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Mary Roseblum
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That is less common than the
too-many-words problem, however!
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Mary Roseblum
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I hope this helps you all a
bit. Pacing is complicated and it's more a 'feel' than a conscious process
when you first start out.
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Mary Roseblum
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When your read a scene in a
book you're enjoying notice the pacing then analyze that scene to see if
you
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Mary Roseblum
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can determine how the author
accomplished it.
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Mary Roseblum
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I'll post the transcript in
the usual place: Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.
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Mary Roseblum
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I hope you all drop in Sunday
for our casual chat.
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Mary Roseblum
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I missed last week....I need
my Sunday chat fix!
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Mary Roseblum
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Good night all, and have a
great weekend!
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Mary Roseblum
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Enjoy the spring.
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