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mary rosenblum
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Hello, all.
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mary rosenblum
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Welcome to our Friday After
Hours Forum
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mary rosenblum
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It has been some time since
I've held an 'open question' night, so I figured this was a good time.
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mary rosenblum
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So this is the time to ask any
questions you have about anything related to writing.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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geezer
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How does cinematic and telling
differ?
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mary rosenblum
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Ooooh, GOOD question, geeze!
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mary rosenblum
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Cinematic is simply a type of
third person POV where the author ONLY conveys visual information to the
reader.
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mary rosenblum
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We do not know what any
character is thinking, seeing, or feeling...we are looking at the scene
from outside...
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mary rosenblum
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as if we are in a seat at the
theater...hence the name 'cinematic'.
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mary rosenblum
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You can 'show' action
cinematically.
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mary rosenblum
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Telling, on the other hand, is
the author obviously narrating...the author is TELLING us what that author
sees.
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mary rosenblum
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We get the information second
hand.
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mary rosenblum
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A good 'showing' scene gives
us the impression that we are seeing the action happen.
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mary rosenblum
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You can 'tell' a cinematic
scene or 'show' it.
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mary rosenblum
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Let me give you an example:
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mary rosenblum
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The cavalry trotted into the
meadow from the mouth of the valley just as the Voldorean footsoldiers
struggled up from the riverbank. A sudden cloud swept across the sun and a
thick dusk darkened the plain.
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mary rosenblum
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With a wild whoop, the cavalry
spurred their shaggy ponies into a charge, curved scimitars gleaming as
they pounded across the frozen grass.
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mary rosenblum
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We're seeing this scene from a
distance, we're not inside anyone's POV...that is we are not seeing the
scene through any one character's eyes.
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mary rosenblum
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We're seeing the whole, vast
battle scene as if we are perched on a hilltop.
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codeblue
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Ok cenematic is how??
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mary rosenblum
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This is cinematic, code.
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mary rosenblum
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We're seeing the entire
meadow, the cavalry on one side, the footsoldiers on the other, the charge
of the cavalry...
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mary rosenblum
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but we are seeing this from a
distance. We are not on a horse swinging a scimitar, we are waaaay back,
seeing hundreds of individuals at once.
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mary rosenblum
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Now here's the TOLD version:
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mary rosenblum
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The cavalry trotted into the
meadow from the mouth of the valley after riding all night. They were tired
and their ponies's shaggy coats were caked with the red mud that lined...
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mary rosenblum
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the river banks like dried
blood. The Voldorean footsoldiers were straggling up the riverbank. They
looked like refugees from a slum in their mismatched battle gear and rusty
weapons. Just as they reached the meadow...
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mary rosenblum
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a dark cloud swept across the
sun as if the gods didn't want to watch the coming slaughter. But they
still kept coming. Nobody ever said Voldoreans had any brains, but you had
to admire them
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mary rosenblum
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This is 'telling'. You hear
someone's personal opinions behind this. Yes, you get more information, and
there is nothing wrong with this type of narrative...
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mary rosenblum
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if that is what makes the
story works.
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mary rosenblum
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Where it does not work is if
you want the reader to feel as if he/she is living that battle. Then the
'telling' voice reminds us...
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mary rosenblum
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with every sentence that we
are not there.
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codeblue
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so it's action verses
narration??
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mary rosenblum
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Pure action versus narration
is showing versus telling, code.
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mary rosenblum
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You can 'tell' a cinematic POV
or you can 'show' a cinematic POV>
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mary rosenblum
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Cinematic simply means 'like a
movie'.
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mary rosenblum
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You see the action only, you
do not know what any character is thinking, and the 'view' is from a
distance most of the time.
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andi
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where does that come in
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mary rosenblum
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It's a great way to show a
scene that one single POV cannot see. Take our battle for example...
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mary rosenblum
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if our POV character is one of
the cavalry people, he's not going to be able to see the whole scene...
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mary rosenblum
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just what is in front of him.
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tory
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Mary, what about a closer POV
than your example, where one character is observing others. EX: Sheila
noticed tears in Clara's eyes. Is this showing or telling? If you say Tears
rolled down Clara's cheeks" is it assumed that Sheila is noticing
that?
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mary rosenblum
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That's a limited third person
POV, tory.
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mary rosenblum
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Here, we are 'limited' to what
Sheila sees/hears/thinks/smells/tastes/feels.
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mary rosenblum
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Again, you can tell or show.
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mary rosenblum
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Sheila noticed tears in
Clara's eyes. "Come on, sweetheart." She put her hand on the
girl's shoulder. "Let's go take a walk."
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mary rosenblum
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This is Sheila feeling sorry
for Clara and wanting to comfort her. Since we have to figure that out from
her words and actions, that is SHOWING. Here, I'll tell you what is going
on.
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mary rosenblum
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Shela noticed the tears in
Clara's eyes. She felt terribly sorry for the poor girl. Maybe she should
take her for a walk and let her know what was really going on. "Come
on, sweetheart.' She put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Let's go
take a walk.'
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mary rosenblum
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So we know lots more...we know
everything that is going on in Sheila's head...BUT...that is not how we
figure out ...
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mary rosenblum
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what someone is thinking and
feeling in real life. In real life we'd hear Sheila's words, see the hand
on the shoulder, and think...
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mary rosenblum
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what a nice woman Sheila is to
go comfort Clara.
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mary rosenblum
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More is often less in fiction.
Allowing your readers to figure it out for themselves makes the readers
feel as if they are really there.
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geezer
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So if I were to give a quick
"lay of the land" it would be cinematic?
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mary rosenblum
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That's often the best way to
do it, geeze, unless your POV character has a reason to look around
carefully.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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wingedwarrior24
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you cannot switch from show to
tell or vice verca?
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mary rosenblum
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Telling can be the BEST way to
do something. If your narrator has a powerful voice, it may actually add to
the story. But if you are 'showing' the story..
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mary rosenblum
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then no, I would not tell.
Yes, it's harder to get information to the reader, but every time you tell,
you pop your head into the scene and say...'hey, reader, guess what? This
isn't real'.
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mary rosenblum
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And the readers hear you.
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mary rosenblum
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One of the big divides between
good story ideas that do not sell and good story ideas that DO sell...
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mary rosenblum
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is when the novice writer
masters 'show don't tell' and good characterization.
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mary rosenblum
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It is hard to do and those are
the two biggest reasons slush stories stay in the slush,
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tory
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I htought the first was showing,
but someone told me it's telling and to change it. Thanks for clarifying.
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mary rosenblum
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A lot of people have misconceptions
about what show and tell mean, tory.
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mary rosenblum
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A character's thoughts are not
'telling'.
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mary rosenblum
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They are in the character's
voice. The author's voice is telling.
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wingedwarrior24
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If an editor rejects a peice,
can you rewrite it and send again?
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mary rosenblum
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Not unless the editor has made
a specific comment, winged. If the editor says, 'nice story, but the ending
dind't work for me. I thought the guy should go back'.
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mary rosenblum
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And you decide that ending
could work, you can revise the story and send it back.
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mary rosenblum
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Then you include a letter,
'Dear Editor, thank you so much for your helpful comments on my story
Excalibur. You know you're right. My ending really was weak. I tried having
him go back, as you suggested, and I'm really pleased with how it turned
out. I'm enclosing a copy in case you'd like to take another look.'
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mary rosenblum
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More often than not, if you
have gotten a specific critique and you change the story accordingly, the
editor will take it.
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mary rosenblum
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Not always. Sometimes you
don't make enough of a change...
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mary rosenblum
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and sometimes the editor is
just being helpful because you are close to selling and she'd like to help
you out...
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mary rosenblum
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but she never planned to buy
the story in the first place.
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codeblue
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does descriptive paragraphs work
for showing and telling??
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mary rosenblum
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Well descriptive paragraphs
are just paragraphs of visuals or action, code. You can either tell us
about it or we can see it for ourselves. Either way.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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Also remember that if you get
personal comments from an editor, it means that editor thinks he or she is
going to buy from you shortly...
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mary rosenblum
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and is taking time to help you
along so he/she can!
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mary rosenblum
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Send everything good to that
editor first!
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janecj333
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So, changing "Maybe she
should take her for a walk..." to "I should take her for a
walk..." becomes 'showing' because it's in the pov character's voice?
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, you could do that. But
you know what? Too much thought bogs down the scene. I think nearly every
reader would make the same assumptions...
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mary rosenblum
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that Sheila felt sorry for
Carla and was going to take her for a walk to comfort her or try and cheer
her up without any thought on Sheila's part.
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mary rosenblum
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I started out using a lot of
thought to reveal character motivations when I first started writing...
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mary rosenblum
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but I have found that I can
use very few thoughts and reveal most of my characters' feelings and
thoughts just fine...
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mary rosenblum
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through actions and words. So
I can keep thought to a minimum.
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janecj333
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so, just leave the sentence out
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mary rosenblum
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I would. We hear her say
something that suggests she sympathizes. We see her put her arm around
Carla's shoulders...
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mary rosenblum
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and we hear her say let's go
for a walk. I bet 99 percent of your readers will get it. :-) Or more.
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geezer
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The headwaters of the White
River originated in the high mountains that bordered Zuzim. By the time
they reached the caldera below they were a raging river. Cinematic and
telling?
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mary rosenblum
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Telling geeze. We can't SEE
that the headwater originated in the high mountains. we're at the caldera
below, right?
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mary rosenblum
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Here's showing:
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mary rosenblum
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The White River tumbled down
the mountain in a curtain of white spray, churning the caldera into foam
before they raged down to the sea.
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mary rosenblum
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I'm sitting on a crag where I
can see the river fall into the caldera, spill over, and dissappear seaward
down the hill.
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mary rosenblum
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To do cinematic, pick a spot
in your world, sit your backside down on it, and look at your world.
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mary rosenblum
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Now describe to the reader
exactly what you see and NOTHING else.
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mary rosenblum
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Not what you KNOW. What you
SEE.
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mary rosenblum
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That's cinematic. :-) It is
what you see not what you know.
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codeblue
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so it is like seeing every
moment in time as it actually hap
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mary rosenblum
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Yep! Exactly!!!
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mary rosenblum
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Hey, POV, showing and telling
are HARD!!!
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mary rosenblum
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That's why you start selling
when you master 'em. You don't have a huge amount of competition. :-)
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megger
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"The aisle looked miles
long. I knew my new husband waited at the end of that long walk and I
stepped into a new world." Cinematic?
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mary rosenblum
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This is first person, megger.
Cinematic is a third person POV. Now I've really confused you right? :-)
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mary rosenblum
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But think about it...first
person is a character telling us the story. Period.
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andi
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the one i sent out and sent back
with the characters weak. should i sent it back there>?
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mary rosenblum
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If the editor didn't write
anything on it, don't send it back, andi. Just send a story with stronger
characters next time. Fix this story and send it to someone else.
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mary rosenblum
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Editors get REMEMBER stories.
:-) And they don't read 'em if they come back again without an invitation.
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mary rosenblum
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(specific comments on a
rejection are considered to be an invitation)
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mary rosenblum
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Do realize that 'nice story
but it didn't work for me' is not a specific comment.
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mary rosenblum
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It is a nice no thanks that
editors use. Translation: I don't want this story.
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megger
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"I knew she was thinking
about the long walk . Her eyes told the story of the journey she was just
beginning." Not terribly cinematic but third person, yes?
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mary rosenblum
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You're still doing first,
megger. I knew she was thinking about the long walk. That 'I' makes it
first person. I is telling the story, whoever he/she is.
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andi
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like them saying the mc didn't
stand out.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, that's actually fairly
specific andi. If you revise the story and make the character come alive,
you could try it again. Tell the editor that thanks to his/her comments...
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mary rosenblum
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you went back and fixed it.
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mary rosenblum
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Your only cost is postage.
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mary rosenblum
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Megger, here's the third
person version.
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mary rosenblum
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Randy knew she was thinking
about the long walk. Her eyes told the story of the journey she was just
beginning.
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mary rosenblum
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Randy is thinkin that her eyes
tell the story of her journey. That's limited third. We're aware of Randy's
throughts.
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mary rosenblum
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In Cinematic you have no
thoughts, no knowing...you just see.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, you can hear, too. :-)
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megger
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Thanks, Mary. I seem to do first
person every time I put pen to paper.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, that's probably your
natural voice.
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mary rosenblum
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Everybody seems to favor one
or the other.
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mary rosenblum
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I'm a natural third. I had to
work HARD to get good at first.
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mary rosenblum
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I still only use it when the
story demands it.
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mary rosenblum
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And sometimes it does.
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mary rosenblum
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I hated it when I first tried
to write it. And boy did that show, LOL.
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mary rosenblum
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I do it really well now, but I
still don't LIKE to use it.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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ashton
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This isn't a question, just a
thought to ponder. Several years ago I left a comment on a space/astronomy
site and the editor wrote me back, said my way of writing intrigued her. A
few emails later I was their new staff writer/researcher. You just never
know "who" is truly watching what you write when you write it.
Just takes one good line to hook an editor and keep them wanting to read
more. That said...Hello everyone!
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, marvelous point, Ashton!!!
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mary rosenblum
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And congratulations, by the
way.
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mary rosenblum
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Let me talk about the 'cast
your bread upon the waters' aspect of a writing career.
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mary rosenblum
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It is all about that sort of
thing.
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mary rosenblum
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Don't get so focused on
getting paid for every word you write that you don't do anything that you
can't submit for money.
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mary rosenblum
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Get your words out there.
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mary rosenblum
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Show up on internet boards and
chat rooms frequented by people in the genre you write in...
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mary rosenblum
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and be articulate and
entertaining.
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mary rosenblum
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You never know when one of
those posters or chatters is an editor. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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They're at least future fans.
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mary rosenblum
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I've met people on boards and
chat rooms or at cons and been impressed with them...
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mary rosenblum
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and have done my best to give
'em a hand up later.
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mary rosenblum
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If I've had the opportunity.
People did that for me, too.
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mary rosenblum
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The more you are visible, the
more people will see you...and remember you. Positively, right???? :-)
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mary rosenblum
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I have asked people to submit
stuff to me for the LR website because of something they wrote, or posted
on the Post It or said in the chatroom.
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mary rosenblum
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The nice thing about the
writing community is that it's a very welcoming community.
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mary rosenblum
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A lot of people in the biz did
nice things for me as I was clawing my way over the wall.
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mary rosenblum
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If you think about it, we are
all competing with each other, but the sense is 'we're all in this together
against the publishing world and numbers'. LOL
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ashton
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Exactly! My story continued when
the founder of the TBRC read one of my stories as he was surfing. He got in
contact with me and the next thing I knew I had a piece featured in his
national newsletter! Let me tell you...I was on cloud nine. Still am. He wrote
me back and thanked me, asked if I'd be interested in writing for him
again...and he said he'd gotten a lot of positive feedback from my story.
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mary rosenblum
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There you go! That's a classic
case of 'bread upon the waters'. :-) Good for you, ashton.
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geezer
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I've read several books by an
author that I like, but in two she uses first perso. She says things like:
I poured the coffee. I put sugar in it. I stirred it. Is this bad writing
or am I hypercritical?
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mary rosenblum
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It's hard to say, geeze,
without seeing a bigger sample. She might have been creating the effect of
someone in shock, noticing every detail, or creating...
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mary rosenblum
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the effect of boredom, or of
time stretching out. Hard to say.
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mary rosenblum
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Alas, 'published' is
absolutely NO guarantee of quality.
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mary rosenblum
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If readers are willing to by
dreck...and many are... and the dreck is publishable, that is what gets
published.
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mary rosenblum
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Really wonderful things are
published, too, but there is no absolute standard by which all fiction is
measures.
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mary rosenblum
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And that is SO frustrating
when you read something while you are struggling like mad to get published
and you think...
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mary rosenblum
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I can write better than that!
How come THAT got published and mine isn't?
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mary rosenblum
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It will drive you nuts if you
dwell on it.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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Remember...this is 'ask any
question' night. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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We've been getting some good
ones!
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codeblue
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So how do you put 3yrs into 3ooo
words??
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mary rosenblum
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Transitions, code.
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mary rosenblum
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YOu can end a scene...say it's
summer. Then skip a line, center a * on it . Next scene begins...
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mary rosenblum
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Winter winds howled down the
chimney and Rachel shivered, wondering if Brenner would ever return.
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mary rosenblum
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We have a when...winter...the
who..Rachel...and a bit of what is going on. That's a clear transition.
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codeblue
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one inportant event to the
next??
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mary rosenblum
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Well find a place to end the
action now, decide when your next important scene will take place and then
just LEAP there...
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mary rosenblum
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bring the readers in for a
solid landing by instantly...like in the first sentence...giving us time,
place, and POV.
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megger
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My book club just read 'Gilead'
and I'm still struggling to figure out why it was a Pulitzer prize winner.
Perspective is a very interesting thing....
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mary rosenblum
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Well, megger, awards are funny
things.
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mary rosenblum
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Most of them are very
political. They are juried, like the Edgar Awards or the Pulitzer...
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mary rosenblum
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or they are chosen by readers,
like the Hugo.
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mary rosenblum
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Or they are voted on by other
writers, like the Nebulas.
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mary rosenblum
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When you get juried awards,
the politics of who likes whom, who is whose protege, etc, comes into play.
:-)
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mary rosenblum
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I personally think that the
readers awards are the most important. THEY buy your books! :-) But it's
true...
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mary rosenblum
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that a Pulitzer or a Newbury
will send your sales rocketing. So will Oprah! LOL
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megger
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Which would you rather win?
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mary rosenblum
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The reader award.
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mary rosenblum
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I've been a Hugo
nominee...that means that enough readers wrote in an nominated my story
that I was one of five people that year chosen as a finalist.
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mary rosenblum
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That is VERY important to me.
It means I connected with my readers.
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mary rosenblum
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I've won some other readers
awards and been a finalist for most of the sf juried awards.
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wingedwarrior24
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very good mary, on that subject
have you gotten any more info in the release of horizon?
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mary rosenblum
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It'll be out in November,
Winged. I saw the rough sketch for the cover. It looks good. :-)
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ltsonya
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I've been looking at guidelines
for magazines and am confused with the different subgenres of fantasy -
high fantasy, magic realism, sword & sorcery, traditional, heroic. Can
you help me out, Mary?
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mary rosenblum
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Sure ltsonya...those subgenres
sort of overlap a bit.
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mary rosenblum
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High fantasy is sort of
Tolkienesque...elves warriors, etc.
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mary rosenblum
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Good and evil battle, good
wins in the end.
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mary rosenblum
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That pretty much covers sword
and sorcery, too...you have magic and swords.
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mary rosenblum
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Contemporary fantasy is set in
the modern world.
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mary rosenblum
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I suppose Harry Potter could
be called contemporary fantasy for that matter.
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mary rosenblum
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Magic realism is a type of
contemporary fantasy...it's mostly in the eye of the beholder. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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I write magic realism that
often sometimes sells to mainstream antholgies and sometimes sells to
fantasy anthologies. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Depends on which editor likes
what.
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mary rosenblum
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traditional covers just about
everything except contemporary... Actually HP would probably be called more
'traditional' than contemporary.
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mary rosenblum
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It just means it has a strong
fantasy element, magic or ghosts or what have you.
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mary rosenblum
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Heroic,...features a strong
hero theme. Is probably also a S&S piece...
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mary rosenblum
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Like I said... these subgenres
are all shades of the same color. :-)
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ltsonya
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oh my, so i suppose the only way
to really know what a magazine wants is to read it?
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mary rosenblum
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Actually, ltsonya, that is the
ONLY way.
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mary rosenblum
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If you read the guidelines for
Asimov's and Analog they are almost identical.
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mary rosenblum
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The fiction published in each
is VERY different.
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mary rosenblum
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What Gordon publishes in F
& SF is hardly evident from his guidelines!
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wingedwarrior24
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do you need a pen name if you
write different genres?
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mary rosenblum
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Not unless you don't want the
fans of one genre to know that you write in another.
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mary rosenblum
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I used a pen name when I wrote
my mystery series because I got asked to write a cozy series...
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mary rosenblum
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and I thought my SF readers
would be disappointed. So I wanted them to know it was a different 'me'.
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mary rosenblum
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Now I wish I hadn't. I'm stuck
with Mary Freeman in mystery and my SF fans like my mystery just fine. Oh
well.
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mary rosenblum
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BUT...now we get to talk about
numbers.
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mary rosenblum
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Many authors who have had poor
sales records in a genre choose a different name when they try a new genre.
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mary rosenblum
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Your sales figures are in
every bookstore's data base for three years.
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mary rosenblum
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If they are lousy, that can
cost you.
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mary rosenblum
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Say you had lousy sales in
Mystery, and you want to try Romance.
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mary rosenblum
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When the salesman comes to
Barnes and Noble and presents your hot new romance book to the buyer....
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mary rosenblum
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he looks up your name in the
data base. Uh oh. they only sold 100 of your mysteries in all their stores.
They shipped tons back. "We'll take 100' the buyer says...
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mary rosenblum
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instead of the 1500 he might
have bought.
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wingedwarrior24
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does a book release mean you
have to tour?
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mary rosenblum
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Not unless I want to spend my
own money, winged! Publishers only do tours for the top one or two books of
ALL their imprints. That's not me. Would be nice. LOL
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mary rosenblum
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I'll do more writers
conferences than usual in the next year in 07.
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megger
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Are you coming to the Midwest,
Mary?
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mary rosenblum
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Gosh, I don't know, megger.
:-) A lot of the big conferences move from city to city and I haven't
looked up the 07 schedule yet.
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mary rosenblum
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I post my schedule on my
website. :-) I usually have it put together in the fall.
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mary rosenblum
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Any last questions before we
run out of Oregon hour?
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geezer
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How's the contest going?
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mary rosenblum
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The anthology? I'll be posting
it March 1, Tuesday. :-)
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ashton
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wanted to talk about
paragraphing...the do's and don'ts
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mary rosenblum
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What about 'em ash?
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biffy
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know about lit. hoax of
WinonaRyder/JTLeroy/LauraAlbert?
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mary rosenblum
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I don't know that one, biffy.
Did someone make it up?
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geezer
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What time? :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Not sure when I'll get it up,
geeze...I'll send an announcement out, don't worry.
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ashton
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like what all can fit in a
paragraph before you switch voice
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mary rosenblum
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A paragraph usually contains a
single topic or focus... and when you move on to another topic or focus,
start a new paragraph.
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mary rosenblum
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And of course you start a new
paragraph every time the speaker changes in dialogue.
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mary rosenblum
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actually, longer paragraphs
are better if you're writing a novel!
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mary rosenblum
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The number of pages
matters...too many pages and they have to charge more for your book.
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mary rosenblum
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Lots of short paragraphs take
up many more pages.
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mary rosenblum
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How's that for a mechanical
reason to paragraph?
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mary rosenblum
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I intentionally use longer
paragraphs in novel form.
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geezer
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That's a good Q. In Freshman
comp, etc. they teach to have a topic sentence and three or so points. Then
a summary sentence. Is that why English reachers aren't writers?
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mary rosenblum
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LOL One of the many reasons!
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mary rosenblum
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Actually, I tutor a very
bright young woman ...I have for years...and I long ago taught her to write
one way for English papers and another way for other purposes. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Well, this has been a fun
Oregon hour. :-)
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ashton
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Hopefully this will make
sense.... If a character is talking, say mumbling in his sleep, Can your
pov be thinking something in the middle of all this without having to
indents and start a new paragraph?
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mary rosenblum
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Only if your POV is doing the
mumbling. If it's another character then, yes, you need to indent just as
if your POV was speaking.
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mary rosenblum
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Otherwise you'll confuse your
readers. They'll see those thoughts as belonging to the mumbling sleeper.
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mary rosenblum
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Do come by Sunday for our
casual chat!
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mary rosenblum
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See you all then!
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mary rosenblum
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And have a great weekend.
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mary rosenblum
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I'll post the transcripts in
the usual place: Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts
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