|
mary rosenblum
|
Hello all.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I hope you've all had a very
good week. Welcome to our Friday After Hours.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Before we get started, I'd
like to apologize to you all about the disruptions last night.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
WE had a very informative
session with Veda Boyd Jones and it was disrupted by a very rude
individual.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Fortunately, while we will
probably be visited by people like this again...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
you won't have to suffer
through that sort of interruption.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I now possess the power to
remove disruptive people from the chat stie.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And if necessary to block ALL
conversation in the auditorium.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
However I am not here all the
time, and if someone is rude or disrupts conversation in the chat rooms
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
you can Ignore that person.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I have posted the instructions
for ignoring an individual...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
with the ichat and java
lite...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
in Suriviving and Thriving/
Getting Started.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If you Ignore someone you will
not see anything that individual posts.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So once again, apologies for
last night. You can read the transcript of Veda's very informative answers
as a transcript.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And we won't have this kind of
interruption again.
|
|
tory
|
Felt bad for Veda. Could she see
all the junk on the screen?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
No, fortunately, our guests
cannot see the auditorium.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
She did realize what must be
happening from my final comment, but she was not aware of it before that.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Business out of the way...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
we can pay attention to the
Forum topic tonight! :-)
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And one reminder...I've been
getting a steady trickle of anthology submissions...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
but Tuesday is the 31st...and
I will not take any on Feb 1!
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Some email servers are slow...don't
wait until 11 PM Tuesday to email me a story!
|
|
robastor
|
Do we e-mail them the same way
we e-mail assignments?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
No, rob, you need to send them
to me as a reply to one of my updates. That way they come directly to me.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
They need to be an attached
.rtf file, and I count. You hav 500 words. Tops.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're talking about
'interior decorating' - creating the scene. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Setting is harder to master than
you would think, as a novice writer.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I rarely see good, consistent
details in stories or personal narratives.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Most of the time, a novice
story shows us the action of the character, we have dialogue, and it all
takes place on a vague, misty stage.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Of course you can have too
much detail, so that the action and dialogue drowns in meticulous description
of trivialities...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
but both are merely extremes
to avoid.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Ah...let me also digress a
moment.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I am going to try to close
this topic a bit early tonight. Long Ridge has opened the novel course, so
I will give you an overview at the end. :-)
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Back to setting... :-)
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
There is a reason to create a
good, strong setting.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Remember that the more you
mimic reality, the more your reader believes what is happening...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and begins to forget that
he/she is reading a story.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And in reality we see people
doing things in a place...we see Mom in the kitchen and we also see the
stove, the window, the cat sneaking onto the breakfast nook table...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
all that stuff.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But of course you can't
describe that constantly and with that degree of detail...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
or your story drowns.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So you practice a sort of
'sleight of hand'.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You let the reader do that,
but you give them enough leading 'seeds' that they do produce more or less
the same kitchen...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
as you and the rest of the
readers see.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Your scene has a dramatic arc,
a smaller version of the story as a whole.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
It rises to a high point.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
(Most of the time. Some scenes
may begin at a high point and taper off).
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Whenever you have a 'low
tension' stretch in your scene, before the tension and/or action rachets
up...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
you can slip in more detail.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Then you simply 'refresh your
readers' eye' by adding a sneaky...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
little beat of description
whenever you can do so without compromising what is going on.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're talking about
'interior decorating' - creating the scene. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Your task as author...and it
is part of the 'work' of writing!...is to find the details that create the
most visual impact.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So much of writing is like
sumi brush painting.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You use only a few brush
strokes, but your reader sees a mountain range and a pond and a willow
tree.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Let's look at our kitchen
scene.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Perhaps we intend to have Mom
and Daughter have a brief, bitter fight about Daughter's right to go to a
party...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and Daughter stomps out.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
The reader hasn't been in this
kitchen before so you need to create a setting for your argument.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
The two extremes to avoid is
the
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
spare version...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Daughter walks into the
kitchen, tells Mom that she's going to a party, Mom says no, and the fight
is on.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
We don't see anything.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
About all we get is; Kelly
marched into the kitchen. "Mom, I'm going to Haley's party
tonight."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"You are not." Her
mother glared at her.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"Yes, I am."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So what do you see?
|
|
janecj333
|
something that smells really
unappetizing is coming from the pot on the stove
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Ah, and Jane, that would be a
nice detail if we're using limited third to let the reader know...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
what Kelly thinks of Mom right
now. Everything Mom cooks smells BAD.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You've used the sense of smell
and revealed some characterization.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But I, as writer, know that if
Kelly marches into the kitchen spoiling for a fight...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
we cannot see much.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
We'll be too focused on the
fight.
|
|
janecj333
|
I mean, the setting can
contribute to the bad mood, as well as dialogue and actions
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Sure, but if you do that
through the POV, you're not only contributing to the mood, but you're ALSO
deepening the characterization.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Remember...skill in writing is
making every sentence do at least two things if possible and three is
better.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Oh, I've got lots of good
details. Let me list them here.
|
|
janecj333
|
the walls are painted a gluey
shade of beige
|
|
paminnapa
|
the blue tea kettle was
whistling on the black stove. The dishes in the sink were piling up
|
|
megger
|
Kelly marches into their
tired-looking kitchen.
|
|
geezer
|
Kelly's wearing a ton of make-up
and her sister's dress
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
These are all good details. So
let's figure out how to make the reader see them without bogging down Kelly
and Mom's fight.
|
|
tryagain
|
Crossing her arms, Kelly
demands, "Why not?"
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is where we're going to
have to stop seeing much. From here on, we'll be 'refreshing the reader's
eye' in a limited way...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
or we'll take the drama out of
the shouting match that's about to happen.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So we need to back up.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Kelly can't march into the
kitchen if we need to show it to the reader.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is what craft is all
about.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Hmmmm....maybe Kelly isn't
spoiling for a fight.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
She doesn't march in ready for
battle.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Let's decide that she really
does hope Mom will let her.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
When Mom is sharp about that
'no', then Kelly can lose her temper. (She gets it from Mom after all!)
|
|
trainer
|
So we'd set the kitchen up
earlier?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If we had, then we'd only need
to refresh the reader's eye here with a detail or two.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But we have not.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So we'll change Kelly's
attitude.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
She's hoping it'll be okay,
but kind of prepared for a 'no' and already a little resentful...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
so she'll blow up quickly when
that no happens.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Kelly stuck her head into the
kitchen. After Haley's kitchen with it's white walls and gourmet
cookware...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
the walls looked dingy, sort
of a gluey shade of beige. Yuck. "Hey, Mom?" Kelly winced as the
battered blue kettle began to shrill.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"Mom, can I ask you
something?"
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"HOw about ask me while
you help with the dishes?" Mom slopped boiling water into her chipped
mug. "That'll impress me so much I might say yes."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"What ARE you
wearing?" Her mother banged the kettle back down. "That top is
way too tight and I told you NO eyeshadow."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Kelly eyed the greasy dishes,
shuddered and grabbed for the rubber gloves...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"Haley's having a party
and invited me, it's okay if I go, isn't it?" The words tumbled out.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"No."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
"Why not?" Kelly
crossed her arms. "I am sixteen. In case you didn't notice."
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And from here on, the fight is
on.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
I could have slipped in the
smell when Kelly is comparing this kitchen to her friend's spotless one...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But if you notice, what I did
was give Kelly time to notice details...and a reason to do so.
|
|
speckledorf
|
Kelly's view of the kitchen and
the dishes...that is the deep pov we talked about in chat Wed?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Yes, that part is...it's doing
double duty there.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Actually, triple duty because
I slipped in a bit of backstory, too.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
We find out that Haley's
kitchen (the girl who's giving the party) has fancy gourmet cookware and a
spotless kitchen...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and maybe part of the story is
that Mom doesn't like Kelly hanging out with Haley because they are VERY
poor and Haley's family is rich..
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and Mom feels uncomfortable
about that.
|
|
geezer
|
Define deep POV?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Deep POV or zero narrative
distance is a type of limited third person POV that places the reader...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
inside the character's skin,
in a sense.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're talking about
'interior decorating' - creating the scene. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But no matter waht level of
POV you're using, first or third...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
the thing to remember is ..do
your interior decorating while things are slow...and DO it then.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
When the scene gets tense, the
raiders appear on the distant hill, headed this way...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Mom and Kelly get into it...or
whatever...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
a single reference to a detail
in the scene will remind the reader what is there...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
but you need to have set up
that setting ahead of time.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
It is VERY difficult to start
a story with an intense action scene. You really have to choose your
details carefully...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
so that the reader has an idea
of where/what/when until you can catch your breath and flesh out the
scenery a bit.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Dialogue is a marvelous way to
hook readers into a story, but do include action tags that allow us to see
what is going on.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
A 'talking heads' start is a
sure way to earn a rejection slip.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
A talking heads scene is a
long string of dialogue without any visuals at all.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Of course many short stories
DO open with an action scene.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
It's a great hook.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So how do you set the scene
when your POV is running for his/her life?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is when you sit down and
decide...very consciously...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
what very few details will
give the readers the most information possible.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
YOu're weaving setting and
backstory into a life and death struggle.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You have VERY little room for
it. :-)
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Okay, we have a sword fight.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
What do we want to tell our
readers?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
What's going on? What are we
going to have to get across? Ideas?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. Tonight we're talking about
'interior decorating' - creating the scene. I've published seven novels
(number eight will be out next year) , more than 60 short stories, and will
do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble'
next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a
question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and
type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..
|
|
megger
|
Are we at a joust or is this a
battle of some kind?
|
|
paminnapa
|
why they are fighting, where are
they fighting is it over a girl, on the grass by the koi pond
|
|
trainer
|
if articles of clothing get in
the way or help?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Okay, so essentially we're
doing a thrust/parry/circle/dodge action string.
|
|
geezer
|
MC jumps on wall and draws sword
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
That's the kind of action that
can include a lot of setting, geeze...so can the articles of clothing if
they define a period for the reader.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If we catch a glimpse of mail
and a gauntlet, the average reader will think 'middle ages'...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
but if the attacker catches
his heel on a power cord...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
we suddenly change that to
movie set or SCA tournament.
|
|
megger
|
What kind of sword? Foils,
broadswords, etc...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
That plus clothing will
provide clues to place and time.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But everything will have to
come in the context of thrust/parry/duck/circle.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So those details will have to
come from things our POV has to avoid, use, dodge, or see as opportunities
for action.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
By describint the opponents
expression or body language...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
you let the reader know if
this is a practice session or a duel to the death.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
(And you can fool the reader
this way...Sir Garret is snarling, lips drawn back, blood lust in his eye
as he swings his mace....and then we find out it's just a practice session.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But we now have a clue that
Sir Garret might go out of control unexpectedly.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And the opponent's expression
is something the POV will notice as he circles/ducks/thrusts/parrys.
|
|
megger
|
The way swords are used haven't
changed very much from age to age, have they, so it's in the touch of the
sword?
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
It's going to be the type of
sword and the clothing of the fighters that will help place the setting,
Megger.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If you're in a fantasy
universe, you'll plant a clue as to that.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Most often, names give away
'fantasy' to the reader.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Or an elf watching, or some
other element that the reader recognizes as 'fantasy' rather than 'history'.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If you're starting with
extreme action, a thought or two from your POV character will help your
readers...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
get their feet under him.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
In our swordfight, our POV
might think... 'This might be the day Garret lets go and kills me'...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and we'd then know, okay, this
is probably practice, but bad blood exists between these two.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Or he might think, 'I'm not
dying today,' and then we know it's for real and our POV is in a bad spot.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You don't have to give the
reader MUCH in this type of extreme action opening...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
just enough so we know a very basic
what/where/who Good guy has been ambushed, this is a sword-technology
fantasy universe, he's on his own against a group...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and we'll find out more
shortly.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
So you're starting with very
minimal setting details, but after our POV escapes and hides to get his
breath back...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
and take care of any
wounds...you have ample time to let him notice the trees, the sky, to think
about backstory, to fix his eyes..
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
on the tall stone towers in
the distance and so on. THIS is where...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
you create your world in
detail.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
At this low point.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
When we're back in motion
again, a few details here and there will remind readers of what they had
time to notice in detail.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
And they'll remember.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
If you read a book where the
story flows along briskly, where you don't notice 'too much' detail, but
after, you have clear images...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
of the scenes, go back. Look
at those scenes and notice how the author included small beats of visual
detail.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
You won't find a lot, but
those beats of detail instantly refreshed the details of the universe in
your mind's eye.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Plan your scenes.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Give your character time to
look around before she flees the dragon!
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
Again, this is where craft
comes in.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
There are many ways to get
from here to there.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
PIck routes that allow you to
create the strongest story for your reader.
|
|
janecj333
|
I'm pretty much drawn to stories
that begin when everything looks normal; the mc has time to look around.
It's comforting rather than heart-pounding. But we know that soon the
pieces of spacecraft will start falling from the sky...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
That's always the easiest way
to start, Jane, and if you're in the SF/fantasy universe it gives you time
to set things up.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
That's usually how I begin my
stories.
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
But the main thing is, use
your 'slow periods' to add the most vivid, rich details you can...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
not a lot, but the three or
four or five...
|
|
mary rosenblum
|
that allow the reader to
create a vivid scene.
|