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Mary Rosenblum
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Hello all.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Welcome to our Friday After
Hours Forum.
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Mary Rosenblum
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We're having an Open Question
night.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Anything goes. More or less.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If you want to type a long
question, use /ask in your regular send bar.
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rae
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How can a person show original
voice? Please explain what that is. Thanks.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I don't know the context of
the use 'original voice' but I'm assuming that what was meant was what I
call a strong narrative voice.
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Mary Rosenblum
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That is, the narrative voice
sounds unique, like a person speaking, rather than a flat monotone.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Here's an example.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Yesterday I saw Josh go over
to Mary Lou's house after school. He was there for about three hours. Maybe
she was helping him with his math homework. He's really bad in math..
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Mary Rosenblum
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This is very 'flat.
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Mary Rosenblum
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There is no sense of the
character.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Let me give this speaker a
voice.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Yesterday I was stuck
weedeating that bloody back yard again when I saw Josh sneaking over to
Mary Lou's house. You know, I was stuck out there
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Mary Rosenblum
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for three hours just because
Mom's having her bridge club over and she wants all those silver-hairs to
think we have a gardener or something. But it was okay. I mean,
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Mary Rosenblum
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Mary Lou was in there the
whole time and I know Josh's folks don't get home until six. Math homework?
Yeah sure.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Same information plus a little
more, but delivered with the 'spin' of the speaker's thoughts, feelings,
and opinions.
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k c morlock
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If two or more agents or
publishers express interest in a MS, I wish, at the same time, how do you
politly take your MS back from the other two?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Well, if they accept
simultaneous submissions, no problem. You simply write to the one you're
saying no to and tell them that someone else has already asked to buy it.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Now if they don't accept
simultaneous submissions, then realize that you're really going to tick off
the 'loser'.
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geezer
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Are you familiar with Swain's
MRUs?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Motivational Reaction Units?
I've heard of them. That's Swain's formula for something to do with his
teaching.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I don't use them or know
anyone who does.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's a bit of a formulaic
approach, sort of like Algis Budrys's 'Seven Point Plot'.
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sss1208
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how do you make sounds example
true story- friends of mine after moving to the bathroom as the tornado
sruck their
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sss1208
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their family room, it sounded
like whomp, whomp ? how do i make the same sounds.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Sounds can be tough, sss.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If you spell them out
phonetically, you can't help but make some readers roll their eyes.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Emily cowered in a corner of
the living room. The wind made a whomp, whomp, whomp sound.
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Mary Rosenblum
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A lot of readers will think
'oh, right', or 'whomp, whomp, whomp' will simply look silly to them.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's often better to let a POV
character interpret the sound.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Eimly cowered in a corner of
the living room. The wind shook the house with the sound of a truck
slamming through walls.
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sss1208
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well the wind was whistling
while tearing off their roof, and making a thumping sound too?
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Mary Rosenblum
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The wind shieked as it pried
off the roof and pounded on the walls with the sound of a sledgehammer
thumping on wood.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It can be a challenge to find
just the right description but whoever said writing wasn't work?
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geezer
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As. HOw does one get around
using as without using clunky "at the same time" or such?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Soemtimes you NEED as.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Even 'to be' verbs are
occasionally the right choice. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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There's no 'never' about as,
really, to be verbs, would or the other 'don't use these' lists.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's a matter of using them
when they're appropriate rather than out of habit.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Jeremy grabbed the dog by the
collar as Cara scrambled over the fence.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You can use 'while'.
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sss1208
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so when making sounds, we should
just describe things like a mac truck or sledgehammer thumping on wood?
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Mary Rosenblum
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You're usually better off.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Readers don't really hear the
sound of dynamite exploding when they read Boom!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Josh threw himself flat as the
dynamite blew. The explosion rolled over them, deafening them all.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Readers will imagine the sound
just fine.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The door squealed as she eased
it open.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Hair rattled on the roof,
drowning all conversation.
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geezer
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Hair?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Oops, my computer can't spell.
:-) Hail.
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k c morlock
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when my MC shot her roll top
desk, she only heard the gun go off, not the impact of the bullet or the
wood splintering.
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Mary Rosenblum
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WEll, yeah! Have you ever
fired a gun at something?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Try shooting a glass bottle.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You're not going to hear that
glass shatter. :-) Not at that range!
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Mary Rosenblum
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At close range, the sounds
will reach your ear together and the explosion of the gunpowder in the cartdrige
is a WHOLE lot louder than wood splintering!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Actually if you use a very
small caliber handgun and a big bottle you might, since the shattering
sound is a higher frequency than the report of the gunpowder.
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Mary Rosenblum
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But not if you fire a big
caliber, most likely.
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rae
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Where do you research stuff for
sci-fi? Like a space station sort of thing?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Any more, you can find links
to most scientific papers on the internet and usually you can even read the
entire thing.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You'll also find references to
books on that particuliar topic.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's worth sifting through ten
pages or so of google hits to find interesting stuff.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's a sea of informational
links out there and unless you're reasearching stuff that's paper-archived
and doesn't show up online, you can find a lot of information.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The trick is, at least in
terms of science research, to follow links to the original papers rather
than using someone else's reference.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Wickipedia is always a nice
place to start any search, but do realize it's not 100 percent guaranteed
for accuracy.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And it's a really BAD idea to
assume that Hollywood or another writer got it right!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Especially Hollywood!
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sss1208
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as I sit here in a closed up
house, I can hear, one deep bass drum beat per second, over and over again,
will i go to jail if blast my neighbors car with a 12 gage shotgun
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Mary Rosenblum
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NICE sense of what your POV is
hearing....AND feeling, sss! Needs a bit of punctuation fixing is all.
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Mary Rosenblum
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But here, readers WILL hear
that THUD THUD THUD of that bass note on a big woofer. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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We've all heard that sound in
traffice.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Traffic!
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rae
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I had a dream and it turns out
that it is sci-fi. I don't write sci-fi, so I figured I'd better do some
research on stuff if I want to write it down. I have never watched or read
any sci-fi.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'll tell you, rae, if you've
never read SF the chances that you'll write a story that suits the SF genre
are not very high, to be honest.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Generally, as with romance or
mystery or action adventure, you need to be familiar with the genre and
reader expectations to be successful.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's easy to 'reinvent the
wheel' and do something that became a cliche forty years ago!
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k c morlock
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Sometimes sounds are felt. I
suppose they would be felt after they are made, but the feeling could
empasize (sp) the sound, right?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Oh they can indeed be felt.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Ross sank into his seat as the
band's big sub-woofer made the building shiver.
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sss1208
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my head is pounding from the
hammering of the neighbors car stereo and so call rap music?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Well, your head is probably
pounding from the music unless that stereo system is VERY ambulatory and
aggressive!
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Mary Rosenblum
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I can just see a car stereo
jumping up and down on your head, swinging a small hammer!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Be careful of what you
actually SAY.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Readers laugh.
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Mary Rosenblum
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My head is hammering from the
neighbor's rap music blasting out of the car stereo.
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crystalwizard
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the heavy bass rhythm spewing
from the car across the street
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Mary Rosenblum
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Yeah, I wouldn't use 'spewing'
though. There's a word thats well on its way to the top of the 'overused'
list.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I see more stuff spewing in
novice manusciripts. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'd use something that
suggests force if it's hammering at you.
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sss1208
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my brain is fried fromtrying to
escape that awful rap music next door
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Mary Rosenblum
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That's good, but try 'showing'
us rather than telling us.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The bloody rap music is
rattling the door knob and my head is about ready to explode.
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sss1208
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gone to get the ice bag for my
aching head?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Good action. :-)
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rae
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He trembled and began to pace
the room for a moment, stopped, leaned his shoulder against the wall, and
closed his eyes. "How could this happen?" Showing or telling?
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Mary Rosenblum
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That's nice showing, rae. This
is body language. What's the emotional spectrum of this character?
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's pretty clear isn't it?
He's pretty upset.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Telling us would be 'He leaned
against the wall, upset by the news. "How could this happen?"
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Mary Rosenblum
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That is ME telling the readers
that he's upset.
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Mary Rosenblum
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In your example, we watch his
behavior and think 'this person is upset'.
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crystalwizard
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the ship shuddered. Below deck,
cabinet doors flew open.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And there you make it
perfectly clear that the ship hit something or something hit the ship. No
telling required.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Telling is: Something struck
the ship and it shuddered.
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sss1208
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77 years ago, when my father was
14, he sailed on the uss shickshinny a merchant ship. what would be a good
title for
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Mary Rosenblum
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A title, sss?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Gosh, it depends on what the
story is all about.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's always nice if the title
reflects some key component of the story.
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rae
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Is it good to show how the title
comes into play in the first chapter of a story?
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Mary Rosenblum
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No, not particularly.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It can be a subtle connection
that the readers have to puzzle out, or at times, that title connects quite
clearly with something
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Mary Rosenblum
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in the climax scene.
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info
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Just like with your mystery
Devil's Trumpet?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Well, there the editor wanted
flower names, sigh. Becuase it was a gardening mystery. I had to try and
find a flower name that reflected something in the story.
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sss1208
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i have the log, it was a trip to
england and back, his father was the ships captain. but the name of the
ship shickshinny
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Mary Rosenblum
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That's WAY cool, sss. I bet YA
editors will love the historical connection.
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crystalwizard
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How about just calling it
Sailor's Woes
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'm not sure I'd go with
'woe'. You're looking at readers who want adventure and excitement not
somebody's seasickness. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'd probably look for a title
that suggested one of the major adventures in the account.
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crystalwizard
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sorry, but the name of that ship
is woeful
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Mary Rosenblum
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That's actually a chuckle,
crystal, and I had to share it. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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You sure can't use the ship's
name in the title, sss.
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sss1208
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I think the name of ship is
catchy Shickshinny
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Mary Rosenblum
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I suspect an editor will think
you can play too many...uh...aliterative games with that and that it's not
a name that's going to shout 'Bravery, adventure'. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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But titles are something that
you can the editor can put your heads together on at teh end of the
project.
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Mary Rosenblum
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They don't get you rejected.
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rae
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Is it true that editors will
change the title of your book?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Yeah, if they think your title
will reduce sales. You bet!
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Mary Rosenblum
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If you want an inviolate
title, you'd better make sure it's written into your contract!
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crystalwizard
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title it after the main
character. It's a historical bio
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Mary Rosenblum
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Or give it a working title.
Come up with the real title later on.
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rae
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If it sells, who cares about the
title of a book? My concern is how much control they have over your work.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's a compromise, rae. If you
want your book published EXACTLY as you wrote it, publish it yourself. An
editor's job is to make your book better than it is. That means he/she is
going to do some
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Mary Rosenblum
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changing. In my experience,
editors line edit themselves and if they want content changes, they write
you a letter about what bothers them and what they want to see changed
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Mary Rosenblum
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and it's your job to figure
out how to do that. We're talking NY editors here.
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rae
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I have heard that some will not
change anything, but others want to change everything. Even the cover is up
to them. Is that true?
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Mary Rosenblum
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The cover is always up to them
at a big NY publisher. I'ts more open in the small press houses.
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Mary Rosenblum
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They'll usually work with you
on a cover.
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crystalwizard
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I edit that way too. Have you
been standing over my desk?
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Mary Rosenblum
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WEll, it's the only good way
to edit in my book! If somebody makes content changes on my work, I'm going
to be seriously pissed. If they want a content change they ask me and I
make it!
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Mary Rosenblum
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I have no problem making
changes, but I do the changing and every writer I know feels that way.
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sss1208
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I could call it Capt Roy and his
big Toy, but that is as bad as shickshinny
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Mary Rosenblum
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LOL sss, I'm going to have to
do a 'worst title' prompt.
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crystalwizard
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Yes. It's not the editors job to
be the author :)
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Mary Rosenblum
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Exactly!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Well, this has been a fun
question night. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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I need to do these more
regularly. Remind me if I forget, eh?
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'll post the transcript in
the usual place: Writing Craft Forum Transcripts.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Tuesday Ill be talking about
show don't tell in First Person.
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Mary Rosenblum
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See you Sunday for our casual
chat!
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Mary Rosenblum
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You all have a great weekend!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Night, all!
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