Forum Transcripts

Creating the Universe as You Go 4/27/07



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Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

Mary Rosenblum

Hello all!

Mary Rosenblum

Welcome to our Friday After Hours Forum.

Mary Rosenblum

I wanted to talk about creating your reality in prose today because I see a lot of weakness in that area in both fiction and nonfiction in student and novice manuscripts.

Mary Rosenblum

It is, of course, a particular challenge if you write, as I do, SF or fantasy. There you have to create an entire universe from scratch! While keeping the plot moving.

Mary Rosenblum

But even if you have set your story in Boston or Podunk, you still have to create a real, believable Boston or Podunk.

Mary Rosenblum

Where most novice writers run into trouble is that they put in plenty of description...for them.

Mary Rosenblum

They see the world. They know what's happening where. Details are not necessary, are redundant. So you leave them out.

Mary Rosenblum

You have to develope a writerly schizophrenia.

Mary Rosenblum

One half of your brain knows everything -- you are creating the story after all.

Mary Rosenblum

The other half of your brain knows ONLY what is on the page.

Mary Rosenblum

So that side of your brain nudges you. Hey. Where are we? What's happening?

Mary Rosenblum

The other side of your brain is seeing the living room, the red velvet couch, the big, flat screen TV.

Mary Rosenblum

If you write the scene for that part of your brain, those details aren't necessary, they're redundant.

Mary Rosenblum

So you have to write for that 'naive' part of your brain, the one that can't see what you don't write.

Mary Rosenblum

Of course you don't REALLY split your brain like that (it would be useful), but you have to train yourself to read over

Mary Rosenblum

your scenes as if you don't know anything. It takes practice. It's very hard at first.

sailor

I'm wrestling with dialogue between characters in a different time and place - Bohemia in 1911. I've written the dialogue somewhat formal because I think that's how my characters would have talked, but one member of my critique group said it was too "stiff" and I should use more contractions. I agree that's how we talk now, but not so sure about people then. Any advice?

Mary Rosenblum

I'm going to side with you and not your group member.

Mary Rosenblum

One of the hardest things to deal with is dialogue from another era or in another language (even though you're really writing in English).

Mary Rosenblum

Contractions ARE very modern. Our speech patterns evolve all the time. So are our slang idiom.

Mary Rosenblum

If you have someone in 1800 great someone else with 'hey, what's happening?' it goes CLANG in your readers' ears.

Mary Rosenblum

They should NOT sound like modern people chatting on their way to work on the subway.

Mary Rosenblum

This is part of creating a sense of place -- which includes time, of course. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

If your characters do not sound like everyday folks talking, it alerts your readers...'something is different here'

Mary Rosenblum

and then you can slip in a clue that this is not 2007 and we are not in Cleveland.

sailor

Yes, time and place. So dialogue reflects educational background as well.

Mary Rosenblum

Of course.

Mary Rosenblum

When I hang around with a sheep farmer from Eastern Oregon who had an eighth grade education back in the forties, I sure don't use the same vocabulary and syntax I use

Mary Rosenblum

when I'm on a panel in front of a bunch of writers and readers!

Mary Rosenblum

Your characters should use the vocabulary and syntax that fits each person's background --

Mary Rosenblum

education, cultural history, class, maybe racial background.

Mary Rosenblum

I have to say that most novice manuscripts feature characters whose speech is utterly interchangeable.

Mary Rosenblum

That is probably the most common weakness in novice fiction and personal narrative.

Mary Rosenblum

It is very difficult to create a rich environment for your story or narrative without telling the reader all about it

Mary Rosenblum

which stops the action.

Mary Rosenblum

You really need to wait until after you have finished the first draft and then work at weaving in a host of little, specific details so that you begin to fill in

Mary Rosenblum

a nice, rich setting.

Mary Rosenblum

I frequently design scenes intentionally to reveal the world to my readers because I have to construct and define my worlds. They are not Cleveland.

geezer

Can't one tell just a smidge?

Mary Rosenblum

You have to, geeze. You can't possible shoehorn in all the details without drowning the story.

Mary Rosenblum

But you do need to add enough that the scene comes to life.

Mary Rosenblum

In highly dramatic scenes, your POV won't notice details. He/she will be too busy with whatever dramatic event is happening.

Mary Rosenblum

Your relaxed scenes allow you to pack in the details, woven into action.

Mary Rosenblum

That's why I take quite a bit of time to decide on an opening scene for a SF story.

Mary Rosenblum

I have to find a way to give the reader enough of the world that it makes sence in the first few paragraphs, while I'm hooking that reader in at the same time.

Mary Rosenblum

First few sentences, not paragraphs, sorry!

Mary Rosenblum

I WISH I could use the first few paragraphs!

Mary Rosenblum

When you're creating setting, start with the points that will have the most effect first.

Mary Rosenblum

Say you're going to set your story in a school room.

Mary Rosenblum

The POV is a daydreaming kid.

Mary Rosenblum

What two or three details say 'schoolroom' to you right off?

Mary Rosenblum

Maybe chalkboard?

Mary Rosenblum

Smell of chalkdust?

doyou

what's a good way to make a relaxed scene seem action filled

Mary Rosenblum

Oops...sorry. Hang on I'll get to that in a second, doyou. :-)

megger

Chalk dust, teacher, clanging bell

charie'

desks, droning teacher, wall of windows

Mary Rosenblum

So in your first sentence, as Jemmy is doing whatever, you give us a couple of those details.

Mary Rosenblum

Readers are instantly in the classroom.

Mary Rosenblum

Jemmy slipped the magic marble out of his desk while Mrs. Klingensmith squeaked new spelling words on the board.

Mary Rosenblum

As to your question, doyou, you just use action. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

The action just isn't life and death, that's all.

Mary Rosenblum

You've just finished a battle. Your character tends to his horse, taking off the tack, washing it down and watering it in the creek, staking it out to graze

Mary Rosenblum

and all the time talking about the forthcoming Summit of Wizards with his buddy. He goes to collect his bowl of stew at the fire

Mary Rosenblum

and sees the new recruit, the really skinny young kid who looks vaguely familiar. When he carries his

Mary Rosenblum

bowl over to sit down and talk to the guy, the recruit vanishes into the crowd of soldiers. The MC looks around for him

Mary Rosenblum

as he finishes his dinner, can't find him, and rolls himself into his cloak to sleep.

Mary Rosenblum

That's a relaxed scene, but he has learned important and disturbing information from his buddy as he cared for his horse

Mary Rosenblum

and of course the recruit is important.

Mary Rosenblum

But because we see (and smell and taste) the campsite scene, it will move forward strongly and the visual images will help keep reader interest in a scene

Mary Rosenblum

that essentially is designed to feed readers information.

Mary Rosenblum

What bores readers to tears is a 'talking heads' scene.

Mary Rosenblum

That would be if our protagonist sat down with his buddy instead of taking care of his horse and getting his dinner and simply talked at length

Mary Rosenblum

with him about the forthcoming Summit of Wizards.

Mary Rosenblum

We'd have dialogue, dialogue, dialogue and nothing to look at.

quixote

blackboard? could be a 'teching hologram" :-)

Mary Rosenblum

Ah, this suggestion for our schoolroom scene is a good one, to skip back a bit.

Mary Rosenblum

Say our schoolroom is in the future!

Mary Rosenblum

So you're going to open the scene with the same magic marble but you have to start creating a future school room so readers know 'when' they are.

Mary Rosenblum

So as Jemmy fishes that magic marble out of his desk, Mrs. Klingensmith opens the blackboard holo and the spelling words shimmer to ghostly life on the green square.

Mary Rosenblum

Jemmy wonders why she programs the holo to look like an old fashioned blackboard as he slips the marble into his pocket. She's so OLD.

Mary Rosenblum

Now your readers know this is the future. Not the present.

christopher houle

any suggestions about flashback scenes

Mary Rosenblum

Well, flashback scenes are written the same way you'd write any scene -- with action, dialogue,and vivid visuals.

Mary Rosenblum

Flashback is not just the character remembering the past, mind you. In a flashback the character relives the past.

Mary Rosenblum

So you write it as if it is happening right now.

Mary Rosenblum

That's why your transitions into that scene and out of it are so critical.

Mary Rosenblum

If the reader doesn't realize he/she is stepping into a flashback utter confusion may result!

Mary Rosenblum

The most important place in terms of visuals are at the start of your story and at the start of EVERY chapter in your novel.

Mary Rosenblum

Even if your chapters are really part of the same scene, remember that readers put books down at chapter breaks. They need a quick reminder of where they are when they pick the book up again.

Mary Rosenblum

So a visual detail or two will remind them.

Mary Rosenblum

If the chapter takes readers to a different character's POV, a different place and time, then that visual start is VERY important. You need to orient the readers to where/when/who in the first few sentences.

Mary Rosenblum

A good exercise is to find something you have written in the past, then read it over asking yourself 'what do I see' all the way through.

Mary Rosenblum

It's not what you know about the scene, now. It's what you see from the description that is actually on the page.

sailor

Characters' names can hint at time and place, too.

Mary Rosenblum

w

Mary Rosenblum

Well, we need that character name right away! That's the who.

Mary Rosenblum

The where/when can take a bit more thought.

Mary Rosenblum

I try to get the 'where' into the first sentence. You can get the 'when' in a bit later.

christopher houle

then what do say about people who write like Anne Rice

Mary Rosenblum

In terms of how, Christopher?

christopher houle

without addressing characters direct names in the beginning

Mary Rosenblum

Remember that when a writer makes a name -- has proved to readers that he/she will deliver a good story, readers are more tolerant, trusting that they'll get through this and get a good story eventually.

Mary Rosenblum

And sadly, a lot of bad writing ends up on the best seller list.

Mary Rosenblum

It is not a good strategy to say, "I'm going to write badly, because it's okay to write badly, you'll still sell'.

Mary Rosenblum

That ain't necessarily so, LOL.

Mary Rosenblum

YOu can always find published examples of bad writing. That is not hard. :-)

quixote

Azimov comes to mind - just say "Foundation"...:-)

Mary Rosenblum

Gosh, it has been a long time since I read the foundation series, but as I recall you figured out where you were within a page or so, each jump.

gail

I've just read "The Drylands," Mary. Good read, btw. I was a little surprised you began the story with a dream sequence, but felt it was very effective in setting the scene. Plus, the details of the dream were referenced throughout the story, so I was impressed with how successfully you used this "device." I've heard it's not recommended.

Mary Rosenblum

I'ts not recommended. :-) It's a dicey way to start a novel, but it was a major factor affecting the MC and it was that or do it as flashback and that would have been more problematical.

Mary Rosenblum

Whatever works, works. There are no absolute rules in writing, but it is a very good idea to know why the 'rules' are called 'rules' before you start tossing them. :-)

quixote

sorry "MC"?

Mary Rosenblum

Sorry. Main Character.

Mary Rosenblum

POV is Point of View character. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

Your readers need to be thoroughly grounded in the story, aware of where they are, who's talking, who's listening.

Mary Rosenblum

You can do some things badly and if the story is strong enough, readers will forgive you for it.

Mary Rosenblum

Or you can do those things badly and the story isn't strong enough and the readers want none of it.

Mary Rosenblum

So it's a good idea not to do things badly if you can avoid 'em.

christopher houle

perfect example Interview With A Vampire

christopher houle

the story eventually tells a name but the name is not what

christopher houle

makes it good or not

Mary Rosenblum

Oh, yeah, tha'ts where she starts with that nameless interview, right?

Mary Rosenblum

Yeah. That's a great example of a really bad start that was salvaged by the rest of the book, LOL.

Mary Rosenblum

The main thing with creating your setting, whether drawn from reality or wholly imagined

Mary Rosenblum

is to slip in small, specific details as often as you can.

Mary Rosenblum

It's like handing the readers jigsaw puzzle pieces...they'll put the picture together.

Mary Rosenblum

Well, thanks for coming all!

Mary Rosenblum

Join us Sunday for our casual chat.

Mary Rosenblum

Same time, same place, we just talk about whatever.

Mary Rosenblum

I have a herding trial, but I should be home by then.

Mary Rosenblum

I'll post the transcripts of this Forum in the usual place; Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.

Mary Rosenblum

Have a great weekend, all! Happy spring!

 

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