Forum Transcripts

Creating Character Emotion 10/17/06

Event start time:

Mon Oct 16 13:02:57 2006

Event end time:

Tue Oct 17 13:02:52 2006



Legend:
Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

Mary Rosenblum

Good morning, all!

Mary Rosenblum

I hope you all had a good weekend. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

I wanted to talk about character today...this is such a huge subject that we could come back to

Mary Rosenblum

some aspect of character over and over again.

Mary Rosenblum

Creating realistic characters is probably the greatest challenge to the fiction writer.

Mary Rosenblum

If you can do it, your work stands out in the slush pile and also on the bookshelf.

Mary Rosenblum

And so much of that creating is yet another variation on the theme of 'show, don't tell'.

Mary Rosenblum

Revealing character emotion is always tough.

Mary Rosenblum

It's easy for your POV character.

Mary Rosenblum

That character's thoughts will reveal their state of mind clearly, although even there

Mary Rosenblum

you don't want to overuse internal narrative or it will bog down your scene.

Mary Rosenblum

So often, even with a POV character, you need to reveal that character's emotions through action.

Mary Rosenblum

And of course, if you want the reader to know a non-POV character, you either have to reveal that emotion through dialogue

Mary Rosenblum

or action or switch POV...which is almost never a good thing.

Mary Rosenblum

The best way to do it is simply through body language.

Mary Rosenblum

You can nearly always guess a person's emotional state of mind from the facial expression or body language.

Mary Rosenblum

You may not be aware of doing so, but if you start paying attention to people, you'll quickly find that we have universal 'signs' of emotion.

hauckston

Why is it almost never a good thing? Because it is too

Mary Rosenblum

Switching POV hauckston?

Mary Rosenblum

Every time you switch POV, you kick your reader out of the story for a bit. It takes some time for readers to 'settle into' the new POV. So if you switch POV frequently, as in omniscient third POV, you

Mary Rosenblum

keep your reader very distanced from all the characters. If the success of the story depends on the readers caring about one or more characters

Mary Rosenblum

you can shoot yourself in the foot that way.

Mary Rosenblum

If the story is strongly plot driven and we don't have to care about any individual character, you can get away with it.

gskearney

We get so much information from facial expression, but how do you show that without bogging down in exposition? --gk

Mary Rosenblum

Good point, gsk. Facial expression reveals a lot, but if you have to stop and describe it in several sentences, you're going to halt the forward momentum of the story

Mary Rosenblum

and if it's a taut action scene, that's a problem.

Mary Rosenblum

Generally, it's best to stick to a single detail that can be swiftly included; he grimaced, she winked, he raised one eyebrow, she bit her lip.

janecj333

A scowl can mean so many things, tho...

Mary Rosenblum

But you would never throw it in so out of context that we couldn't understand its meaning jane.

Mary Rosenblum

The scowl, in the context of this particular scene means what it means.

Mary Rosenblum

It might mean confusion, it might mean buiding rage, it might mean uncertainty.

Mary Rosenblum

We'll know because of what else is happening.

cosmos

Is there a really good reference book on body language or a dictionary of body language?

Mary Rosenblum

Well, no, and jane's question and my answer is the reason, cosmos.

Mary Rosenblum

A single bit of body language...clenched fists...can mean many things.

Mary Rosenblum

Hey, next time you're in the checkout line, a doctor's waiting room, a mall food court, pay attention.

Mary Rosenblum

Those are great places to watch people.

dim writer

Same with nervous ticks Mary?

Mary Rosenblum

Nervous ticks are kind of problematical dim. A lot of very poor books on writing tell novices

Mary Rosenblum

to use them to give characters 'individuality'. So you have two dimensional characters who

Mary Rosenblum

go around tugging on their hair or nervously biting their lips and just as it can annoy

Mary Rosenblum

someone in real life, it can annoy readers. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

You really don't need them to give your character 'individuality' believe me!

Mary Rosenblum

But if your character has one, use it sparingly!

grayalien

Mary, is it better to include the facial expression description along with a speaker tag, or by itself?

Mary Rosenblum

If you can leave 'said' out of the text, do so! Facial expression and body langauge make great action tags!

Mary Rosenblum

No said needed.

Mary Rosenblum

"Maybe you're right." She narrowed her eyes. "You'd better be."

Mary Rosenblum

I could add 'she said as...' But why?

Mary Rosenblum

Extra words. Empty words.

Mary Rosenblum

Remember...the more instantly words translate to images in the readers' minds, the stronger your prose.

Mary Rosenblum

Unless you're writing literary prose where style is more important than story.

Mary Rosenblum

Most of time I see POV switches in novice fiction, the writer could have let us guess everything he/she thought needed to be revealed by that POV switch.

Mary Rosenblum

And remember...if you're writing in first person, let your POV be an aware and savvy observer.

Mary Rosenblum

I watched Duke think about my proposal. I could tell he wasn't happy.

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Your POV noticed the body language so you don't have to describe it.

dim writer

What about crying? they could be faking.

Mary Rosenblum

And they often are faking. And it's up to YOU to give the readers and your POV a clue.

Mary Rosenblum

"Why isn't that funny." She laughed, a bit too shrilly.

Mary Rosenblum

Her too shrill laugh will make us (and your POV) question her reaction.

tolkienlvr

Mary - can you give us some tips or examples of how to effectively move a character from a sad or angry scene into a totally different emotion (happy, excited) in a way that is believable? In a novel I'm revising have character who throughout the story is dealing with both anger & sadness over dad's murder, and excitement over an important contest he's won at the same time. It seems rushed to end one ch. on a sad note, and shift the MC into a more happy emot. state in the next chapters - are there techniques you use to include these realistic shifts in emotions without making the character seem flat or fickle? Any tips? Examples? Thanks!

Mary Rosenblum

You're right, Tolkien, that's a tough emotional rollercoaster and it does take work to make it seem believable.

Mary Rosenblum

Generally, you can find some kind of similar 'character' example in your own experience. We've all had experiences

Mary Rosenblum

where something shadowed our lives at the same time something good happened.

Mary Rosenblum

We just lost a job but won a contest.

Mary Rosenblum

Generally, if you think about it, people vascillate from happy to sad quickly...you might be thinking about the new car you can now afford with the contest win money

Mary Rosenblum

only to remember that you have no job and you shouldn't spend it that way.

Mary Rosenblum

What will seem 'fake' is if your character is entirely happy for a whole chapter or scene without ever

Mary Rosenblum

thinking of the dark issue, and then falls into sadness for an entire scene.

janecj333

I almost always use pov switches when I change a scene and the previous pov is not present, usually different 'sets' of characters that will come together geographically later. I do worry abt how many of these the reader can tolerate.

Mary Rosenblum

It depends, Jane. You see that a lot in classic quest fantasy, but especially when authors use a large number of POV characters, it really does keep the reader from

Mary Rosenblum

becoming intimate with any character. We're constantly switching from one to a new one without continuity.

Mary Rosenblum

It just depends on how much time with spend with a particular character. It can have the effect of omniscient POV if the cast of POV characters is large enough

Mary Rosenblum

effectively distancing us from all of them.

Mary Rosenblum

Then you have to depend on a strong plot and enough action to carry the story.

Mary Rosenblum

If you think about how you become friends with someone...close friends...in the real world

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most people become close friends as they get to know that person well. They find many similarities

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qualities they admire, that person is someone they relax around and care about.

Mary Rosenblum

Just as it takes some time for most people to become close friends in real life, it takes some time for readers to become 'close friends' with a character.

hauckston

I worry about making things too simplistic or too complicated for the reader, however I tend to read everything out loud and if it rolls off the tongue, then I find it works. However, I do head~hop.

Mary Rosenblum

Well, head hopping is pretty typical in literary mainstream, hauckston, but there, reader/character intimacy is rarely important, while plot and style are.

Mary Rosenblum

It depends on what you're writing as to whether head hopping is hurting you or not. But reading out loud is a great way to get a feel for the flow of your language.

Mary Rosenblum

One thing to watch for, though, is that your language can flow, but still be so convoluted and full of excess words that the readers

Mary Rosenblum

essentially have to read the passage, figure it out, and then see the image.

Mary Rosenblum

That is going to work against you in just about any genre but literary mainstream.

dim writer

What is head-hoping? Never heard that before

Mary Rosenblum

Head hopping, dim, is when you simply use all your characters as POV characters and skip from POV to POV constantly.

Mary Rosenblum

It's generally not an effective means of writing fiction, except in some limited cases.

hauckston

That is also why I use a few people whom I can bounce it off. And I'm learning about being too wordy! I have that verbal diarrhea going on

Mary Rosenblum

LOL everybody does at first, hauckston! We ALL love the sound of our own voices or we wouldn't bother to try and get other people to read it. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

That's the long step between novice and pro...learning what really works.

Mary Rosenblum

It's harder than you think. :-)

hauckston

Nope, it is not harder than I think... 'cause I know that it fills me with consternation when I try to cut my words

Mary Rosenblum

It is hard to learn to let go of your words, huackston. I had Orson Scott Card as a teacher when I first started writing. One piece of stern advice filled me with horror.

Mary Rosenblum

He told me to find the scene that I liked best in whatever I was working on and cut it out. Delete it.

Mary Rosenblum

He had reason for that advice. :-) I didn't always do it. I often found later on that I wish I had. LOL

hauckston

and still try to get the same flow.

Mary Rosenblum

Sorry...I didn't get the final bit of your comment.

Mary Rosenblum

Yeah, changing the words does change the flow.

Mary Rosenblum

That's why I personally don't edit for flow and rhythm until I am ALL done making content changes.

tory

Why is that advice so good, Mary. Do we like one so well BECAUSE it doesn't help it's just ours?

Mary Rosenblum

His reasoning is that when you like something you lose your objectivity and you keep it whether it belongs or not.

Mary Rosenblum

I have to say that looking back later at some of my early work, I do find that the scene I thought was such a gem at the time really should have been done differently.

Mary Rosenblum

Not always but sometimes. It's pretty extreme advice...

Mary Rosenblum

but the main purport is that the story matters, not the words.

Mary Rosenblum

Words are just the Lego pieces you use to build the castle.

tarsus

Suppose you find yourself sticking with only one POV in all your stories. Does that mean you're not growing as a writer, or just staying with what works?

Mary Rosenblum

Well, I would say, Tarsus, that it's always a good idea to try something that makes you uncomfortable regularly. :-)

Mary Rosenblum

Nothing wrong with one POV. I think all of my short fiction...that's over sixty published works so far...are single POV. I use multiple in novel form.

Mary Rosenblum

Remember, you can experiment with things that never get published, or don't satisfy you.

Mary Rosenblum

The more you try different forms, styles, break the rules, the more you stretch and the more you push the limits.

Mary Rosenblum

Many things won't work.

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But you'll know a lot more about writing by trying them.

Mary Rosenblum

There are many ways to tell a story. Some ways work more easily than others, but that doens't mean you should never try others.

pook

I have a short story with 2 POVs, one in the first part then the other. DO I have to end it with the first POV coming back?

Mary Rosenblum

That entirely depends on what the story needs, pook. It depends on what the story is about. It could work either way.

hauckston

I for one, love all of my words. But I know that they don't all belong in the same stories!

Mary Rosenblum

Oh, me, too, hauck. Took me years before it didn't feel like surgery to remove em. :-) Now? No problem. Gimme the pruning shears!

janecj333

What are the characteristics of the scenes you like best?

Mary Rosenblum

Wow. That's an interesting question. I would say, Jane, that the characteristics are the same for what impresses me with a story of any length.

Mary Rosenblum

The semblance of effortlessness...that character/action/setting all flow to a dramatic conclusion without snags, with no sense of 'effort'...that is, you simply know everything

Mary Rosenblum

you need to know and you're not even aware of how you got that knowlege.

Mary Rosenblum

You simply observed what you needed to observe.

Mary Rosenblum

That's darn hard to do and takes a LOT of work!

dim writer

What if I want you to dislike someone,but feel sorry for the

Mary Rosenblum

That's a marvelous character challenge, dim. To create a negative character that the reader is forced to sympathize with.

Mary Rosenblum

You simply give that negative character enough humanity that we see more than just the negatives.

Mary Rosenblum

So many 'bad guys' are cardboard cutouts of evil.

Mary Rosenblum

They have nothing to them but nastiness. Very unrealistic.

janecj333

What you described sounds ideal. So why get rid of it per Card's advice?

Mary Rosenblum

LOL jane, but what if perfect though it is, it isn't right for the story, overpowers it? Doesn't belong?

Mary Rosenblum

I have never followed anyone's advice slavishly, but I HAVE deleted scenes that sure felt perfect to me (groaning all the while) for the very reasons I just mentioned.

Mary Rosenblum

But as far as the negative/positive character, dim...give that person some traits that are NOT simply evil.

Mary Rosenblum

You can have a man who has a short temper and when he gets drunk he slaps his son around. Nasty guy.

Mary Rosenblum

But he can be someone with a hard drinking family history of violence and he tries hard to be a good dad in other ways.

Mary Rosenblum

Doesn't make his violence excusable, but it gives him more depth and we can see him do some good things

Mary Rosenblum

even if he can't control his drinking and outbreaks.

janecj333

I can imagine ridding a story of maudlin scenes, falsely dramatic and romantic scenes. The perfect stuff I like to keep and make it work.

Mary Rosenblum

Ah, and you know what, Jane? THis is an important point in growth as a writer, I think...when your priority shifts from 'words' to 'story'.

Mary Rosenblum

If you bend the story to keep that scene is it really a stronger story because of the bending?

Mary Rosenblum

If it is, you're fine.

Mary Rosenblum

That's a subtle difference in mindset, but I can look back at my writing history and find the point at which my perspective changed.

pook

MY assignment 11 doesn't flow. It is choppy. It is mainly dialogue between the prot. and ant. What can I do?

Mary Rosenblum

You may well need more action, pook.

Mary Rosenblum

I see a lot of 'talking heads' scenes where people simply talk and nothing happens.

Mary Rosenblum

Here's an ideal place to use action tags, let the readers see the characters as they gesture, move about the room, do something.

Mary Rosenblum

It should help smooth out that scene, too.

hauckston

why do so many people kill off characters??? I feel like it is a cop out for authors.

Mary Rosenblum

Sometimes it is, sometimes you need to do it, haucks. I hate it when I think the author did it just for the 'tear jerk' impact.

Mary Rosenblum

Remember, in dialogue scenes, you want to create the effect that we see the action and hear the speech simultaneiously.

Mary Rosenblum

If you use those action tags to add the visuals to do that, you can reveal your characters' emotions at the same time and smooth out what will otherwise feel choppy.

pook

There are things I want him to say - and her, too - but I can't get the sequence right.

Mary Rosenblum

Try talking it out, out loud, pook.

Mary Rosenblum

I still do that with a lot of my dialogue.

hauckston

I had a scene in a novel where it could've gone either way. However, I didn't want the ant to end up dead, nor in an asylum. So instead, I made him a confused human.

Mary Rosenblum

Again, the main thing is serve the story.

Mary Rosenblum

Any last questions before we end the hour?

Mary Rosenblum

Next time you're stuck in line, remember..here's your chance to observe the signs

Mary Rosenblum

of growing irritation! LOL

Mary Rosenblum

Join us tomorrow for our casual chat.

Mary Rosenblum

Same time, same place.

janecj333

I often analyze scenes for what they accomplish, summarize them on index cards and shift them around.

Mary Rosenblum

That can be a good way to do it, Jane. Beats five feet of shelf paper tacked on the wall and scribbled on!

Mary Rosenblum

Have a good day, all.

Mary Rosenblum

See you tomorrow for our casual chat.

Mary Rosenblum

I'll post the transcripts in the usual place: Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.

 

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