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Mary Rosenblum
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Hello all.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Welcome to our Tuesday
Lunchbox Forum.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I hope you all had a great
weekend. I unfortunately got stuck on the freeway while they cleared a
nasty accident and missed our Sunday casual chat, darn it.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I really enjoy those, and if
you haven't dropped in before, you should. We have a lot of fun.
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Mary Rosenblum
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I wanted to talk about
building the universe of your story (or personal narrative) today.
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Mary Rosenblum
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That is one of the more common
weaknesses I see in novice manuscripts.
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xana
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I'm always thankful I wasn't
involved in the accident when that happens
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Mary Rosenblum
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Oh, no kidding, Xana. I drove
home SO carefully! So did everyone else.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Even if you're setting your
story in a very usual location -- a residential neighborhood in Canton, Ohion for
example --
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Mary Rosenblum
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you still need to create that
visual setting for the readers right off the bat. You would not believe how
often I read a story
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Mary Rosenblum
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where we leap right into
action (which is good!) but I don't have a clue whether we're in Hong Kong, the
tundra, or in the middle of a Ukranian village!
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Mary Rosenblum
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There's simply nothing to see.
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Mary Rosenblum
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What happens is that the novice
writer focuses on the action, trying not to 'tell' the readers anything
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Mary Rosenblum
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and therefore doesn't 'tell'
us where we are. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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The trick is to show us where
we are as the action unfolds.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Of course if you're writing in
the speculative fiction arena you are creating not only the unfamiliar
physical surroundings
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Mary Rosenblum
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but you're also implying
culture, technology, and society as well!
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Mary Rosenblum
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Talk about juggling five balls
at a time!
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xana
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I have problems with exactly how
much 'scenery' to include. P D James puts in a LOT, but many authors
don't
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's always a balancing act,
xana. James mysteries tend to be pretty leisurely in pace, even when action
takes place.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And, to be honest, she's PD
James and we all KNOW we're going to get a good read so we forgive her a
slow start. :-)
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xana
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It can get boring
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Mary Rosenblum
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Yeah, it can, and I also find
her starts a bit slow. But you don't get that slack when you haven't proved
that you will provide a read that makes up for a slow or confusing start.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You have to walk a fine line
between too much description and so little that readers flounder.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Finding that balance requires
reader input.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's all about practice
practice practice.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Eventually you'll find a
balance that works for you.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Many novice writers really
want to make sure the readers know everything in the first few paragraphs
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Mary Rosenblum
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so they stuff those first
pages with backstory.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The flip side of this coin is
the sword fight or chase scene where we don't have a clue where we are or
what is going on.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You do not need to give your
readers the entire backstory before the plot begins.
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Mary Rosenblum
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What you DO need is just
enough 'where/who/when' that the scene makes sense.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And you need where/who/when at
the start of every new scene or chapter.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Take some time before you leap
into that first scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Ask yourself what you can
reveal to the reader and if the scene is simply going to be too cryptic,
then think about a different starting scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Figure out how to embed just
enough details that your reader gets an idea of what is going on.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Readers don't have to know
everything as long as they can sort of guess what is happening.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Let's pick something really
tough.
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Mary Rosenblum
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We'll start with a chase scene
and it's at night.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Hard to see anything, the POV
character is busy running for her life -- there's a challenge for you.
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Mary Rosenblum
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How can you show the readers
the world? Your POV isn't going to stop to think 'ah, we're in the middle
of downtown LA and it's 2200 and I'm being pursued by the blackmarket
cartel that really controls the flooded city'.
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Mary Rosenblum
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So we'll give some thought as
to how to orchestrate this chase so that we get specific details to the
readers.
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Mary Rosenblum
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They have to know when -- the
future and where -- LA and since this is speculative fiction, they need to
have a sense of what this future is like.
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Mary Rosenblum
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There we have 'flooded' and
'run by blackmarket cartel'.
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Mary Rosenblum
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So how do we go about this?
We'll we need to show the readers that this is not today's LA.
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Mary Rosenblum
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So maybe we'll set the chase
scene near some familiar landmark so that we can 'show' the difference in
that landmark as the POV dashes past.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Here, for example, we might
have our POV character scrambling over crumbled overpasses and leaping from
rubble pile to rubble pile out into the flooded LA basin, watching
nervously for the
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Mary Rosenblum
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wild dog packs that infest the
Basin.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Now the readers see a
earthquake-riven and flooded LA.
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geezer
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Dodger Stadium has three
dimensional Baseball. Sees the dome.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And maybe it's lit up -- the
only around and a steady stream of hovercraft are dropping to the landing
platform. If she can make it to the Stadium she can get a cab and escape
safely.
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Mary Rosenblum
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But even as she plans this she
knows it's only temporarly. The Cartel has marked her. She's going to have
to leave LA.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Now we know that this Cartel
has a lot of power.
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geezer
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Players use jet packs
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Mary Rosenblum
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She could see someone zoom
upward to catch a ball, thinks bitterly about the people watching it safely
in friont of their holodecks.
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Mary Rosenblum
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We are piecing together a
future world here as our POV scrambles over concrete rubble, wades through
black, scummy water, and races for her life, trying to make the safety of
that lighted dome.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The pace will be fast, the
tension high, but as she throws herself into the carpeted interior of a
little auto-cab and the domo makes an acerbic comment about
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Mary Rosenblum
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the mud she has gotten on the
carpet, we'll have a solid sense of this dark, ruined future LA, the local
power structure and the reason our POV is on the run.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And not once will you, the
author, have interrupted that breakneck flight in order to explain
anything.
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Mary Rosenblum
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They key is to slip in one
detail at a time. Those single details do not slow down the action, readers
barely notice them, but internally, they are putting the pieces together
into a coherent picture.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Consciously construct your
scene in order to reveal your world.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Here, I intentionally chose a
chase scene that takes our POV through the part of LA that most vividly
reveals its difference from today and chose
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Mary Rosenblum
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a destination -- the fancy
stadium -- that would allow her to reveal the state of society through her
thoughts and actions.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If she was just walking down
the street, she'd have to think about all this stuff.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Where she is, what society is
like, what the conflict is. How very boring. :-) Lots of internal narrative
and not a lot of action.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It doesn't have to be a chase
scene, but try to use action so that you can show the reader a lot of the
details of the universe
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Mary Rosenblum
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without resorting to a lot of
internal narrative.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Sandra Dee might be opening
her aunt's florist shop and as she does, the landlord shows up and their
terse, hostile exchange
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Mary Rosenblum
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reveals a lot about her aunt's
financial problems as well as sets her aunt up for suspicion when that
landlord is found murdered.
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Mary Rosenblum
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After the exchange, Sandra
just has to go get a cup of tea at the local cafe and the waitress there --
who heard the end of the argument through the open windows -- fills her in
on town history.
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Mary Rosenblum
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We don't have a life and death
chase, but by the end of the scene we have seen the shop, the small town,
we know something of the town's history as well as her aunt's past.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Where novice writers run into
trouble is that they leave out specifics.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Sandra went down the street to
the cafe and had a calming cup of tea.
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Mary Rosenblum
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What do we see? Not much.
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Mary Rosenblum
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We don't get any sense of the
town, the people. This is merely information. A summary.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Sure it's quick. :-) But fast
is not always good.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If she marches past the two
boarded up stores to the cafe with its faded awning and calls 'Good
morning' as the bells tinkle on the opening door, seating herself in the
nearly empy
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Mary Rosenblum
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cafe, we'll see a town that's
not very prosperous, maybe folk are moving away.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If she passes a booth filled
with men in boots and jeans with souwesters hanging up, and overhears a
comment about lobster prices
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Mary Rosenblum
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we'll get a good sense of the town's
probable location and main livelihood.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You don't want to bog the
story down in too much detail.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If you spent an entire page
giving us details of the furniture and the various fishermen having
breakfast readers would be yawning.
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Mary Rosenblum
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But neither do you want to
summarize the action and dialogue and ignore the visuals.
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Mary Rosenblum
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One way to decide if you have
too much or too little in terms of detail is ask yourself -- What will my
character notice?
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Mary Rosenblum
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If your character is in a
contemplative mood and not in a rush, he may notice a lot of details.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If she has just gotten bad news,
is rushing to catch a plane, worried about family, she's not going to
notice much
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Mary Rosenblum
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unless it gets in her way and
slows her down.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If she's rushing to catch that
plane, Mom is dying, but stops to examine a lovely garden for a long time
-- that is going to seem quite phony to the reader.
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Mary Rosenblum
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What happened to her anxiety
about missing that plane?
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Mary Rosenblum
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So your use of description is really
a part of characterization. (nearly everything is actually
characterization)
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Mary Rosenblum
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And your POV character will
help you determine if your level of visual detail suits the scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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As you work on a scene ask yourself:
Would my character notice this?
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Mary Rosenblum
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You need to do this in
nonfiction narrative, too.
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Mary Rosenblum
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And whether it's a nonfiction
narrative or a first person fictional POV, that narrator needs to give the
readers clues about the scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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A first person narrative with
no sense of action or visual detail is pretty boring. We are a visual
species.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The problem for everyone is
that we all see our fictional universes very clearly. And we're including
enough visual detail....for us!
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Mary Rosenblum
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The hard part is putting
yourself in the skin of the reader who does not know anything about your
world.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's good practice to give a
scene to a reader and ask that reader what he/she sees. That reader's
vision of your scene may surprise you.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It doesn't take many details
to allow readers to grow a scene that's pretty close to the one you
envision.
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Mary Rosenblum
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In fact, one problem I see
from time to time with novice writers is what I call 'control freak
behavior'.
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Mary Rosenblum
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That writer is by golly going
to make sure you see EXACTLY what he/she wants you to see, and the action
drowns in a sea of detail.
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Mary Rosenblum
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That's the other side of the
coin from the no-visual scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Niether one is particularly
good if you want to compel readers. :-)
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Mary Rosenblum
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A good writing exercise is to
simply write scenes.
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Mary Rosenblum
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You don't need a
beginning/middle/end, it doesn't have to be a story.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Just write a scene and see if
you can make it come vividly to life with enough clues so that readers get
a sense of where they are and what is going on.
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Mary Rosenblum
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It's extremely good practice
if you plan to write in the speculative fiction universes.
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Mary Rosenblum
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World building -- world
building WELL -- is a huge part of those stories.
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Mary Rosenblum
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The ability to weave small,
specific visual details into your action and dialogue is a potent skill and
worth working on.
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Mary Rosenblum
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If your scene is mostly
dialogue, just include small beats of visual action.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Let your speakers do thing so
that we keep seeing the scene.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Pour a drink, rummage in the fridge,
put a new worm on the fishook and cast it out...
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Mary Rosenblum
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keep your characters doing as
well as speaking. That way you keep the scene fresh and visual.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Keep asking yourself 'how can
I show my reader something' and use every opportunity you can without
slowing down the action.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Any last questions before we
wind up here?
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Mary Rosenblum
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Thanks for coming, all!
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Mary Rosenblum
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I'll post the transcripts in
the usual place: Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.
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Mary Rosenblum
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Have a good week and check
next week's newsletter for a new prompt. :-)
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